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The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world involves a lot of government expenditures. This money should be used in new housing and road development. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world involves a lot of government expenditures. This money should be used in new housing and road development. YLLMm
The recreation of old buildings in the main urban areas on the globe includes a plenty of administration expenses, whereas, it is considered by some people that, these funds must be utilize in constructing new homes and road development. I disagree with this given notion and this esasy will discuss the related aspects in detail. To begin with, the restoration of old buildings have a number of advantages. Firstly, it indirectly helps financially to any government. For example, re-construction of old buildings become a source of income in long-term as it attracts plenty of tourists from other countries. Moreover, it also generates a plethora of job opportunities in nearby area where buildings are being re-constructed as it requries large number of workforce. So, the figures of joblessness level is dwindle gradually. Eventually, it helps to build-up prestigious economy of any particular nation. Furthermore, old building can be seen as heritage of any country and it is essential to take care of that kind of ancient building because it is the pride of any specific country. For instance, The Taj Mahal located in India is now being clean by some special chemicals as it's surface become yellowish owing to the pollution created by nearby industries which includes various toxic gases. It is one of the prime source of foreign exchanegs as plenty of tourist coming from the abroad to visit it. One the other hand, it is also necessary to spend government money wisely. If the government provides houses to the needy people then it rises the living standard of citizens. For example, in India administration started one initiative known as "Aawas Yojna". In which they constructing high-rise at various location in the cities and provide home at cheap rate. Thus, it indirectly, empowered people to do work. As a result, it helps government to create a healthy economy. In conclusion, personally, I think that, re-creation of old buildings and constructing new houses along with roads both should be equally prioritised as they are play a vital role in making nation's economy healthy, directly or indirectly, in long-term.
The recreation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
in the main urban areas on the globe includes a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of administration expenses, whereas, it
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that, these funds
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
Consider using the past participle "utilized"?
utilize
in constructing new homes and road development. I disagree with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
notion and this
Possible spelling mistake found.
esasy
will discuss the related aspects in detail.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the restoration of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
have a number of advantages.
Firstly
, it
indirectly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
financially
to any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
For example
, re-construction of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
become a source of income in long-term as it attracts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of tourists from other countries.
Moreover
, it
also
generates a plethora of job opportunities in nearby area where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
are being re-constructed as it
Possible spelling mistake found.
requries
large number of workforce.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the figures of joblessness level is
Consider using a past participle here: "dwindled".
dwindle
gradually
.
Eventually
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to build-up prestigious economy of any particular nation.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as heritage of any country and it is essential to take care of that kind of ancient
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
building
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the pride of any specific country.
For instance
, The Taj Mahal located in India is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
being clean by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
special chemicals as it's surface become yellowish owing to the pollution created by nearby industries which includes various toxic gases. It is one of the prime source of foreign
Possible spelling mistake found.
exchanegs
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of tourist coming from the abroad to visit it.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the other hand, it is
also
necessary to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
money
wisely
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
provides
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
to the needy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
then it rises the living standard of citizens.
For example
, in India administration
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
one initiative known as
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
Possible spelling mistake found.
Aawas
Possible spelling mistake found.
Yojna
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. In which
Did you mean "they're constructing", "they are constructing", or "they were constructing"?
they constructing
high-rise at various location in the cities and provide home at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
rate.
Thus
, it
indirectly
, empowered
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to do work.
As a result
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
to create a healthy economy.

In conclusion
,
personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, re-creation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
buildings
and constructing new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
along with roads both should be
equally
Possible spelling mistake. 'prioritised' is British English.
prioritised
as they are play a vital role in making nation's economy healthy,
directly
or
indirectly
, in long-term.

IELTS essay The restoration of old buildings in major cities in the world involves a lot of government expenditures. This money should be used in new housing and road development.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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