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Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.20

Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. v. 20
While a vast majority of people suggest that it would be wise to deal with the environmental issues at a global level, there are others who believe that dealing with them on a national scale would be an appropriate idea. This essay intends to delve into both sides of the argument in depth. I, however, think that all the nations should come forward to tackle these issues. To commence with, some people claim that concerns related to the surroundings should be solved by the countries throughout the world simultaneously. This is so because most of the topics pertaining to the environment are adversely affecting the whole universe and they cannot be tackled simply by working alone, thus it is the need of the hour to come together to minimise the potential impacts of these serious threats. The United Nations, for instance, is working on the agreement to reduce the temperature of the earth by approximately 2 percent till 2021. This policy is signed since it is well known that global warming is responsible for changing the current climatic conditions of our planet. To recapitulate, it would not be wrong to say that the time has come when each country should cooperate to lessen the dreadful outcomes of the changes in the atmospheric phenomenon. In contrast, the opponents of the statement argue that the individual role of the nations is crucial in the elimination of the processes which are destroying the beauty of our planet. Since no country can take a back seat, and think that it is a global concern, and they cannot do anything. Despite the fact effective initiatives at an individual level can prove significant. In India, for example, use of plastic bags has been banned in order to minimise the garbage production as these are non -biodegradable and can never be degraded, which is definitely an excellent decision taken by the government. To elucidate, no one can deny the participation of a single nation as a whole. In conclusion, although the society is divided on the methods of solving ecological issues. Some are in favour of mitigating them in collaboration, whereas others consider to alleviate such problems nationally. But, I personally opine that these can be best resolved by taking a balanced approach.
While a vast majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
suggest that it would be wise to deal with the environmental issues at a global level, there are others who believe that dealing with them on a national scale would be an appropriate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. This essay intends to delve into both sides of the argument in depth. I,
however
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
forward to tackle these issues.

To commence with,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that concerns related to the surroundings should
be solved
by the countries throughout the world
simultaneously
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of the topics pertaining to the environment are
adversely
affecting the whole
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
universe and
they cannot
be tackled
simply
by working alone,
thus
it is the need of the hour to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
together to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the potential impacts of these serious threats. The United
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Nations
,
for instance
, is working on the agreement to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the temperature of the earth by approximately 2 percent till 2021. This policy
is signed
since it is well known that global warming is responsible for changing the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
climatic conditions of our planet. To recapitulate, it would not be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
to say that the time has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
when each country should cooperate to lessen the dreadful outcomes of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in the atmospheric phenomenon.

In contrast
, the opponents of the statement argue that the individual role of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
is crucial in the elimination of the processes which are destroying the beauty of our planet. Since no country can take a back seat, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is a global concern, and they cannot do anything. Despite the fact effective initiatives at an individual level can prove significant. In India,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of plastic bags has
been banned
in order to
Possible spelling mistake. 'minimise' is British English.
minimise
the garbage production as these are non -biodegradable and can never
be degraded
, which is definitely an excellent decision taken by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
. To elucidate, no one can deny the participation of a single
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nation
as a whole.

In conclusion
, although the society
is divided
on the methods of solving ecological issues.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
are in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of mitigating them in collaboration, whereas others
The verb 'consider' is used with the gerund form: "consider alleviating".
consider to alleviate
such problems
nationally
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
personally
opine that these can be best resolved by taking a balanced approach.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people think that environmental problems should be solved on a global scale while others believe it is better to deal with them nationally. v. 20

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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