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Some people think that encouraging people to using their cars less and public transport more will help in declining the rising levels of congestion and air pollution.

Some people think that encouraging people to using their cars less and public transport more will help in declining the rising levels of congestion and air pollution. Lrb86
Nowadays, people use more private cars which lead to more cars on the roads and results in heavy traffic jams and air pollution. These problems are more common in big cities across the world. I agree that the only effective way to solve this problem is by encouraging people to use public transportation instead of using private cars. There are many benefits of using public transport. Firstly, it is economical to use buses and trains as daily commute as fares are quite cheaper. People do not have to buy their own vehicles which means they do not have to pay for fuel and vehicle maintenance services. Recent study reveals that car owners expend around 40% of their monthly income on fuel and maintenance services. Secondly, it will save time a lot of time because public transportation, nowadays, are developed to be faster and more convenient for the citizens. For instance, Bullet Train in Japan, which connects Tokyo to man other cities, is very high-speed- around 320 kilometres per hour. Moreover, using less private cars save environment and people’s health as well. Reduced number of cars on road results in less carbon-dioxide emissions- a greenhouse gas which is the biggest cause of air pollution and climate change. Thus, it will reduce the burden of air-borne diseases such as lungs cancer, emphysema and many more. Hence, it improves the quality of life. To sum up, in order to cope with rapidly number of private cars and worsening air quality, the government and individuals must adopt change and reduce the use of private transport.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
which lead to more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on the roads and results in heavy traffic jams and air pollution. These problems are more common in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities across the world. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
effective way to solve this problem is by encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transportation
instead
of using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
cars.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits of using public transport.
Firstly
, it is economical to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
buses and trains as daily commute as fares are quite cheaper.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
vehicles which means they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay for fuel and vehicle maintenance services. Recent study reveals that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
car
owners expend around 40% of their monthly income on fuel and maintenance services.

Secondly
, it will save time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
public transportation, nowadays,
are developed
to be faster and more convenient for the citizens.
For instance
, Bullet Train in Japan, which connects Tokyo to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
other cities, is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high-speed- around 320
Possible spelling mistake. 'kilometres' is British English.
kilometres
per hour.

Moreover
, using less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
save environment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
health
as well
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Reduced
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
on road results in less carbon-dioxide emissions- a greenhouse gas which is the biggest cause of air pollution and climate
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
.
Thus
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the burden of air-borne diseases such as lungs cancer, emphysema and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more.
Hence
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improves
the quality of life.

To sum up, in order to cope with
rapidly
number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cars
and worsening air quality, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
adopt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
transport.

IELTS essay Some people think that encouraging people to using their cars less and public transport more will help in declining the rising levels of congestion and air pollution.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
261 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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