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Saving money was taught to be a part of growing up in children in the past in comparison to those who more easily spend now.

Saving money was taught to be a part of growing up in children in the past in comparison to those who more easily spend now. oRkrg
In recent years, children find it easier to spend on things they want to buy. This reason can be influenced by many factors such as television commercials and peer pressure. Parents need to teach their children different ways of saving from a younger age and make them understand the importance of it, this will help them in the future. For example, I remember growing up having a piggy bank where I collected money for a period of three months I would start collecting every penny I got. During the end of this period, I would be so excited and look forward to the day that I could use the cash and buy something I really wanted. This habit made me realize the importance of saving. It also helped me become more patient as well as to understand the value of what I bought. Since I understood the importance of saving, it helped me save and budget when I had to be independent. Youngsters need to understand the difference between ‘wants and needs’ before spending, this teaches them to value things. Parents and adults should positively encourage and educate children to make right choices of spending on the important needs. Children in poorer countries such as Africa can’t afford to even spend on basic average needs like water, food, books and clothes. To conclude, our children need to learn to spend wisely and make smart choices rather than blindly spending money on things that are not important long term. I agree with this essay that children in the past were taught to be wise with their spending and were encouraged different ways to save when compared to those now.
In recent years,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
find it easier to spend on things they want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. This reason can
be influenced
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factors such as television commercials and peer pressure. Parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of saving from a younger age and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them understand the importance of it, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in the future.
For example
, I remember growing up having a piggy bank where I collected money for a period of three months I would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
collecting every penny I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
. During the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
of this period, I would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
excited and look forward to the day that I could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the cash and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
something I
really
wanted. This habit made me realize the importance of saving. It
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me become more patient
as well
as to understand the value of what I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
. Since I understood the importance of saving, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
me save and budget when I had to be independent.

Youngsters
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to understand the difference between ‘wants and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs’
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
, this teaches them to value things. Parents and adults should
positively
encourage and educate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
right choices of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
in poorer countries such as Africa can’t afford to even spend on basic average
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
like water, food, books and clothes.

To conclude
, our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to learn to spend
wisely
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
smart choices
rather
than
blindly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
money on things that are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
long term. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this essay that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in the past
were taught
to be wise with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
and
were encouraged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways to save when compared to those
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
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IELTS essay Saving money was taught to be a part of growing up in children in the past in comparison to those who more easily spend now.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
278 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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