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Both Rich and poor find it difficult to accessibility to university education.Do you agree or disagree

Both Rich and poor find it difficult to accessibility to university education. PVRwE
This 21st century students are finding it difficult for accessing university education irrespective of which financial background they are coming from. I totally agree to this above said statement. Firstly, there are multiple factors that make this notion true. The system of education and its level has been changed over the time since British rule has been eradicated in India. The fact is that lot of changes has been made to the set standards of every universities in order to compete at a global level. Therefore higher criterias are set in terms of marks for secondary education and entrance exam as well. This leads to higher level of competition among all classes of society irrespective of caste and creed. Recent studies have shown that there are more number of people who are educated atleast till university level, which they continue their legacy for their family generations to come. Secondly, growth of coaching centers as well as tuitions have helped weaker students to score more thereby created an atmosphere of mere competition. This encouraged many less privileged student community to challenge themselves and explore their hidden challenges. It made them to widen thier horizon and lead to creation of a very challenging environment. The entrance exam to premier institute's like IIT's, NIT's are very complex and challenging to crack. Therefore with mere learning of concepts will not work for these type of competitive exams. Deep learning and understanding of concepts only pays off, otherwise there will be a constant decline of pupils admitted to premier institutes. In conclusion, amidst of all these factors university education will be rewarding to students who work hard all throughout his primary and secondary education with clear idea of learned concepts and thier corresponding application in real life scenarios.
This 21st century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are finding it difficult for accessing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
irrespective of which financial background they are coming from. I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this above said statement.

Firstly
, there are multiple factors that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
this notion true. The system of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
over the time since British
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rule
has
been eradicated
in India. The fact is that lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
has
been made
to the set standards of every
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "university"?
universities
in order to compete at a global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
higher
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "criteria", the plural form of the noun 'criteria'?
criterias
are set
in terms of marks for secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and entrance exam
as well
. This leads to higher
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
of competition among all classes of society irrespective of caste and creed. Recent studies have shown that there are more number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
are educated
Possible spelling mistake found.
atleast
till
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
level
, which they continue their legacy for their family generations to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.

Secondly
, growth of coaching centers
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
tuitions
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
weaker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to score more thereby created an atmosphere of mere competition. This encouraged
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
less privileged
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
community to challenge themselves and explore their hidden challenges. It made them to widen
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
horizon and lead to creation of a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
challenging environment. The entrance exam to premier institute's like IIT's,
Did you mean the plural instead of the possessive?
NIT's
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complex and challenging
Did you mean "cracking"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'challenge' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to crack
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Therefore
with mere learning of concepts will not work for these type of competitive exams. Deep learning and understanding of concepts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
pays off,
otherwise
there will be a constant decline of pupils
The verb 'admitted' is used with the gerund form: "admitted premiering".
admitted to premier
institutes.

In conclusion
, amidst of all these
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "factors'" or "factor's"?
factors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
will be rewarding to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
all throughout his primary and secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of learned concepts and
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
corresponding application in real life scenarios.
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IELTS essay Both Rich and poor find it difficult to accessibility to university education.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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