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Some of the people believe that video games are useful for children while others say these games have harmful effects. Discuss both views

Some of the people believe that video games are useful for children while others say these games have harmful effects. Discuss both views wBO0Y
Some people say that virtual games are worthwhile for kids, whilst others say that they can cause negative effects. This essay will discuss both views. The first opinion of this issue says that video games bring benefits to children. Firstly, video games can gain creativity. Some adventure plays are hard to solve and it demands deep logic and instinct to find a way to get the rewards. For example, Lego harry potter that appears in iPad, in some stages, it requires the participant to think out the box to get the clue to finish this step, and it is very hard for children who do not like to think differently. Secondly, it is the pleasure that they get after they finish the challenge in those virtual worlds. It likes an accomplishment of their hard work by using their logical thinking that beyond their daily basis. Also, it can be used as entertainment to relax after a tough day at school. However, some may think that virtual play can bring drawbacks that jeopardizing the future kids. One of the main issues is the kids' mental health. It supports by the fact that young people that spend most of their time with this digital world have a physiological disorder. For instance, it is very common to see some adolescents from 10-20 have emotional problems, such as excessive anger, that lead them to be a nonchalant and an anti-social individual. Therefore, this group of people has a problem with maintaining their relationship with other human beings and it becomes a really big problem after they are an adult. This occurrence can generate many communication problems in the workplace and lead them to suffer in crowds. In conclusion, although the drawback is quite gruesome for the children development, the positive effects are wholesome for brain development. So, as long as we are careful to keep the importance of face to face interaction and limit the duration of playing games, the virtual play can be totally useful.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
say that virtual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are worthwhile for kids, whilst others say that they can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects. This essay will discuss both views.

The
first
opinion of this issue says that video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
bring benefits to children.
Firstly
, video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
can gain creativity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
adventure plays are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to solve and it demands deep logic and instinct to find a way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the rewards.
For example
, Lego
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
harry potter
that appears in iPad, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
stages, it requires the participant to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
out the box to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the clue to finish this step, and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
for children who do not like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
differently
.
Secondly
, it is the pleasure that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
after they finish the challenge in those virtual worlds. It likes an accomplishment of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work by using their logical thinking that beyond their daily basis.
Also
, it can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
as entertainment to relax after a tough day at school.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that virtual play can bring drawbacks that jeopardizing the future kids. One of the main issues is the kids' mental health. It supports by the fact that young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that spend most of their time with this digital world have a physiological disorder.
For instance
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
adolescents from 10-20 have emotional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
, such as excessive anger, that lead them to be a nonchalant and an anti-social individual.
Therefore
, this group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
has a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
with maintaining their relationship with other human beings and it becomes a
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
after they are an adult. This occurrence can generate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
in the workplace and lead them to suffer in crowds.

In conclusion
, although the drawback is quite gruesome for the children development, the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects are wholesome for brain development.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, as long as we are careful to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
the importance of face to face interaction and limit the duration of playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
, the virtual play can be
totally
useful.
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IELTS essay Some of the people believe that video games are useful for children while others say these games have harmful effects. Discuss both views

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
332 words
9
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 9.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 9.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 9.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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