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Some people think that employers should ensure a supportive and pleasant work environment where each employee is respected and valued equally while others think employers should focus instead on providing better facilities and equipment v.2

Some people think that employers should ensure a supportive and pleasant work environment where each employee is respected and valued equally while others think employers should focus instead on providing better facilities and equipment v. 2
Definition of good work culture is different for the distinguishing group of people, the section of society believes an organization should provide a cooperative and enjoyable atmosphere to their workforce, however, there are others who emphasize more on good amenities and resources. This essay is an attempt to discuss both the viewpoints before giving my personal take. To begin with, lets me put a phrase “the first impression is the last impression” when a person joins any organization the basic infrastructure and services play a vital role in creating the impression, thus, available facilities make difference to the working attitude of an employee. For instance, it has been observed that in Delhi –NCR, employees who are provided with conveyance are more satisfied than the opposite group of people who has to commute themselves. Because, traffic congestion takes the maximum time and the later one have to spend extra hours to complete the desired working hours, which is not in the former case, as the times start the moment he/she boards the cab. Similarly, it goes with providing pieces of equipment like a laptop, as the employee can work as per the ease while at home also. This would certainly; increase the productivity of the organization. On the contrary, earlier the impression form, the shorter time it will take to fade, which means at later stages, when a person gets on board these materialistic things does not make difference. To instance, an employee would not be happy if the boss is shouting all the time, and employees are involved in work-politics no matter if he sits in luxury office and other services are at his doorstep. This group of people, remain stressed and compel to leave the job early because of the internal crisis between the colleagues, which is a loss to the employer as recruiting and training new person takes a lot of time and money, thus affects the deadline of the projects. After analyzing both the viewpoints, it can be concluded that designing perfect work culture is not an easy task, as every individual has a different expectation from their workplace. However, the psychological effect is more important than the physical impression, therefore, the peaceful and good environment could help to retain employees for the longer period of time.
Definition of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work culture is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
for the distinguishing group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, the section of society believes an organization should provide a cooperative and enjoyable atmosphere to their workforce,
however
, there are others who emphasize more on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
amenities and resources. This essay is an attempt to discuss both the viewpoints
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
giving my personal take.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
me put a phrase “the
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impression
is the last
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impression”
when a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
joins
any organization the basic infrastructure and services play a vital role in creating the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impression
,
thus
, available facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
difference to the working attitude of an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
.
For instance
, it has
been observed
that in Delhi –NCR,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
who
are provided
with conveyance are more satisfied than the opposite group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
commute themselves.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
, traffic congestion takes the maximum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and the later one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend extra hours to complete the desired working hours, which is not in the former case, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
times
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
the moment he/she boards the cab.
Similarly
, it goes with providing pieces of equipment like a laptop, as the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
can work as per the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
while at home
also
. This would
certainly
; increase the productivity of the organization.

On the contrary
, earlier the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impression
form, the shorter
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
it will take to fade, which means at later stages, when a person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
on board these materialistic things does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
difference. To instance, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
would not be happy if the boss is shouting all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are involved
in work-politics no matter if he sits in luxury office and other services are at his doorstep. This group of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, remain
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stressed
and compel to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the job early
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the internal crisis between the colleagues, which is a loss to the employer as recruiting and training new person takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and money,
thus
affects the deadline of the projects.

After analyzing both the viewpoints, it can
be concluded
that designing perfect work culture is not an easy task, as every individual has a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
expectation from their workplace.
However
, the psychological effect is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than the physical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
impression
,
therefore
, the peaceful and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
environment could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to retain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
for the longer period of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
17Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that employers should ensure a supportive and pleasant work environment where each employee is respected and valued equally while others think employers should focus instead on providing better facilities and equipment v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
380 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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