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Some people think that elderly employees are more useful to company.

Some people think that elderly employees are more useful to company. qLNXD
Some people think that elderly employees are more useful to company. I partly agree with this statement. In my opinion, elderly employees have more experience than new ones. Therefore, they are much more important for company. In their timeline they have seen and practiced many things on themselves and in particular situations they know what to do, without any hesitation. For instance, when new, unexperienced employees are hired elders must give them their knowledge for the future. On the other hand, young employees are important too. New ideas, different points of view, minds full of innovations and bodies full of energy make them as useful for company as elders do. In addition, we all must agree that future depends on young people and we must do everything to help them achieve success. To sum up, I want to mention that elderly people are vital for companies and for their future goals just like young ones.
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Some
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people
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think
that elderly
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employees
are more useful to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement.

In my opinion, elderly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
have more experience than new
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ones
.
Therefore
, they are much more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. In their timeline they have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
and practiced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things on themselves and
in particular
situations they know what to do, without any hesitation.
For instance
, when new,
Possible spelling mistake found.
unexperienced
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employees
are hired
elders
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
give them their knowledge for the future.

On the other hand
, young
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employees
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
too. New
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
points of view, minds full of innovations and bodies full of energy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them as useful for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
as elders do.
In addition
, we all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that future depends on young
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
people and
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do everything to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them achieve success.

To sum up, I want to mention that elderly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are vital for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and for their future goals
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.

IELTS essay Some people think that elderly employees are more useful to company.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
155 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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