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People nowadays spend their free time

People nowadays spend their free time KnPE3
Some people are saying that people are lessactive than they were in the past. There are points for and against this idea, but overall I agree with the statement. In this essay I explained why. In my opinion, the main reason why people less active is computers. Several years ago we go to speak to our colleagues. We walked to their desk or office. Now we send an email without getting up from our seat. Even our free time is less active because we playing computer games and go on social media. Before, people were walking to a café to meet their friends or they went to their house. Nowadays, though, we chat online at home. In the twentieth century, children do many activities. In today's world, parents are scared for their children's safety, so they prefer to keepthem at home. For many, it is easier to stay at home than to go out. On the other hand, some physical activities are become more popular. There are more gyms than there used to be and it is fashionable to go running or to the gym, in my view, though, only some people do these things. Most people join a gym but they are not going regularly. Howe ver, they never stop playing computer games and watching TV! Also, these days everyone took their driving test as soon as possible and starts driving. In the past, young pe ople walked and went by bus. To sum up, I am agree that people are less active in their free time compared with the past. Now people are lazier and less fit than they were before. (273 words)
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Some
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people
are saying that
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people
are
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lessactive
than they were in the past. There are points for and against this
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idea
,
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but
overall
I
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agree
with the statement. In this essay I
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explained
why. In my opinion, the main reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
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less
active is computers. Several years ago we go to speak to our colleagues. We walked to their desk or office.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
an email without getting up from our seat. Even our free time is
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less
active
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because
Did you mean "we're playing", "we are playing", or "we were playing"?
we playing
computer games and go on social media.
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Before
,
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people
were walking to a café to
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meet
their
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
friends or
they went to their
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house
. Nowadays, though, we chat online at home. In the twentieth century, children do
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many
activities. In
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today
's world, parents
are scared
for their children's safety,
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so
they prefer to
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keepthem
at home. For
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many
, it is easier to stay at home than to go out.
On the other hand
,
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some
physical activities
are become
more popular. There are more gyms than there
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used
to be and it is fashionable to go running or to the gym, in my view, though,
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only
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some
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people
do these things. Most
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people
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join
a gym
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but
they are not going
regularly
.
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Howe ver
, they never
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stop
playing computer games and watching TV!
Also
, these days everyone took their driving
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test
as
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soon
as possible and
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starts
driving. In the past, young
Possible spelling mistake found.
pe ople
walked and went by bus. To sum up, I am
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agree
that
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people
are
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less
active in their free time compared with the past.
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Now
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people
are lazier and
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less
fit than they were
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before
. (273 words)
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IELTS essay People nowadays spend their free time

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
274 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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