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some people think that economic development is the only way to end up poverty and hunger

some people think that economic development is the only way to end up poverty and hunger RNxNY
Nowadays, more and more people believe that economic growth is the best way to end the world poverty and hunger, while others suppose to stop developing the economic which damage the environment. While I accept there are benefits and drawbacks of this decision, I would argue that it is better off developing the economic. On the other one hand, there are number reason why some people don’t believe to develop the economy. Firstly, when we focus on developing economy, its lead to urbanize, caused there are many factories and companies are build up which affect negatively to the environmental qualification. For example, the environmental quality of third country like Vietnam, India are very bad and alarming. As the result, not only the human health but also the life quality is go down, and its lead to poverty and hunger. Secondly, some country spent many thing to grow the economics but they hadn’t received any achievements, however, it is easy to counteract. For example, Brazil and India they had high growth rate, but the poverty and hunger are common, life quality is define substandard. On the another hand, I think that developing the economy helps to stop the poverty and hunger. First of all, wealthy economy creates many job opportunities because the increase of labor force, so that it will help many people have a better life. Moreover if country have growth economy, they will have money to develop and produce a machine and technology which are very modern and friendly with environment. For example electronic car, solar energy, wind energy, etc protect environment and reduce pollution. In addition, nation’s budget through the tax system are created by the success of enterprises and business that will have the poor will have happier life and out of poverty and hunger. In conclusion, although the development of economy could have some negative influence on the environment, but it will help many people out of poverty and hunger, and that also prevent the pollution.
Nowadays, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that economic growth is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
the world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and
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hunger
, while others suppose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
the economic which damage the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
. While I accept there are benefits and drawbacks of this decision, I would argue that it is better off
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
the economic.

On the other one hand, there are number reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t believe to develop the
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economy
.
Firstly
, when we focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
, its lead to urbanize, caused there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
factories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
are build up which affect
negatively
to the environmental qualification.
For example
, the environmental quality of third country like Vietnam, India are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
and alarming. As the result, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the human health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
quality is go down, and its lead to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
country spent
Possible agreement error. The noun thing seems to be countable; consider using: "many things".
many thing
to grow the economics
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they hadn’t received any achievements,
however
, it is easy to counteract.
For example
, Brazil and India they had high growth rate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
are common,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
quality is
Consider using a past participle here: "defined".
define
substandard.

On the another hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
developing
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, wealthy
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economy
creates
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the increase of labor force,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
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people
have a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
if country have growth
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economy
, they will have money to develop and produce a machine and technology which are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
modern and friendly with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
For example
electronic car, solar energy, wind energy, etc protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
pollution.
In addition
, nation’s budget through the tax system
are created
by the success of enterprises and business that will have the poor will have happier
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
and out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and hunger.

In conclusion
, although the development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
out of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
poverty
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
hunger
, and that
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
the pollution.
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IELTS essay some people think that economic development is the only way to end up poverty and hunger

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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