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More and more companies believe that their staffs should dress smartly while has some opinions believe that quality of work must take priority over appearance

More and more companies believe that their staffs should dress smartly while has some opinions believe that quality of work must take priority over appearance AjYjM
Nowadays, More and more companies believe that their staffs should dress smartly while has some opinions believe that quality of work must take priority over appearance. While I accept there are benefits and drawbacks of this decision, I would argue that it is better off using dress code or none. The reason to dress smartly is advantageous to some extent. Frist, dress code will make you look more professional and confident. In the non-office jobs environments which require their workers to wear uniforms because, they believe that formal clothes which interact many people. For example, the people working in banks, malls, restaurants, hotels. . . etc where they must contact with many clients so not only serve customers well but also wear beautiful uniform make customers attracted and impressed. In addition, some works like astronauts, polices, fire man because of the safe they must wear uniform. On the other hand, another companies might not require their employees to wear polite costumes. In the modern society, a lot of people don’t want to be controlled and constrained so in my opinion, dress freely is also positive trend. In the fact that, today many workers are freely simple clothes that thing will make relax and imaginative environments, and they can save a lots time because they don’t mind to wear anything. For example, employees of large conglomerates like (Facebook, Microsoft, Google, etc) and CEO of their corporations can be run into when they are wearing casual clothes. In conclusion, I think the most important thing that is people can wear everything they want but it must be suitable for their work environments.
Nowadays, More and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
believe that their staffs should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
smartly
while has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
opinions believe that quality of work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take priority over appearance. While I accept there are benefits and drawbacks of this decision, I would argue that it is better off using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code or none.

The reason to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
smartly
is advantageous to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Frist
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
code will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
you look more professional and confident. In the non-office jobs environments which require their workers to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
uniforms
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, they believe that formal clothes which interact
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
working in banks, malls, restaurants, hotels.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
etc
where they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
contact with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
clients
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
serve customers well
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
uniform
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
customers attracted and impressed.
In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
works like astronauts, polices, fire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
man
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the safe they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
uniform.

On the other hand
, another
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
might not require their employees to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
polite costumes. In the modern society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don’t want to
be controlled
and constrained
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
in my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
freely
is
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
trend. In the fact that,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
workers are
freely
simple clothes that thing will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
relax and imaginative environments, and they can save
If you mean a great quantity, use "a lots of time"?
a lots time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they don’t mind to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
anything.
For example
, employees of large conglomerates like (Facebook, Microsoft, Google, etc) and CEO of their corporations can
be run
into when they are wearing casual clothes.

In conclusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
thing
that is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
wear
everything they want
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be suitable for their work environments.
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IELTS essay More and more companies believe that their staffs should dress smartly while has some opinions believe that quality of work must take priority over appearance

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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