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Some people think that dividing the housework is extremely important.Discuss this views and give your opinion?

Some people think that dividing the housework is extremely important. Discuss this views and give your opinion? PELQg
People nowadays, especially women, don't have time to complete tasks as society evolves. They not only work full-time, but they also look after their children and do housekeeping. Family members, in my opinion, should share housework. One explanation is that doing housekeeping together can bring family members closer together. Adult members do labor like laundry and cooking, children just do simple chores like watering the garden or making their bed. We feel less exhausted and more equal when we share housework. Another argument is that doing chores teaches children how to organize their belongings. They'll know how to keep their possessions in order and keep everything clean. We will feel accountable for our family if we are addicted. Finally, to improve family life, we should share housework.
People
nowadays,
especially
women, don't have time to complete tasks as society evolves. They not
only
work full-time,
but
they
also
look after their children and
do housekeeping
.
Family
members, in my opinion, should share housework. One explanation is that
doing housekeeping
together can bring
family
members closer together. Adult members do labor like laundry and cooking, children
just
do simple chores like watering the garden or making their bed. We feel less exhausted and more equal when we share housework. Another argument is that doing chores teaches children how to organize their belongings. They'll know how to
keep
their possessions in order and
keep
everything clean. We will feel accountable for our
family
if we
are addicted
.
Finally
, to
improve
family
life, we should share housework.
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IELTS essay Some people think that dividing the housework is extremely important. Discuss this views and give your opinion?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
127 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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