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Government and Society are equally corrupted. Do you agree or disagree. Give reason for your answer.

Government and Society are equally corrupted. Give reason for your answer. jb8AM
In this essay we will go through some pick points on government and society. As we know that government is build up by the peoples votes and as of now every human being seems to choose the wrong party during the voting and then it brings a huge problems in our place of living. Corruption is the key nowadays played by the most of the leaders. The most major problems are roads due to which many accidents are being occured in a town/city/village and due to illetracy there is a growth in crime rates amongst young generation which spoils their future. High taxes which are taken by the government should be used on the public facilities and free education should be provided to the poor people with all necessities. Government is for the people, by the people and to the people. So, society must take the proper decision before voting for their rights.
In this essay we will go through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pick points on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and society. As we know that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is build up by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
peoples
votes and as of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
every human being seems to choose the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
party during the voting and then it brings a huge
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "problem"?
problems
in our place of living. Corruption is the key nowadays played by the most of the leaders. The most major problems are roads due to which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
accidents are being
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "occurred", the past tense form of the verb 'occur'?
occured
in a town/city/village and due to
Possible spelling mistake found.
illetracy
there is a growth in crime rates amongst young generation which spoils their future. High taxes which
are taken
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
on the public facilities and free education should
be provided
to the poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with all necessities.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Government
is for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, society
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take the proper decision
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
voting for their rights.

IELTS essay Government and Society are equally corrupted. Give reason for your answer.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
153 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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