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In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move...

In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move. . . DoY96
Because of the advancement of modernization, it is not difficult to understand that modern citizens prefer to live in various areas throughout their lives. This is in contrast to previous eras when most people lived in the same place their entire lives. I believe it has both upsides and downsides for people. There is no denying that living in different cities has a variety of advantages for people. Indeed, as you travel from one location to another, you will have the opportunity to explore the world and broaden your knowledge in a variety of settings. Furthermore, you will strive for a high standard of living and have more opportunities to obtain a well-paying job. You will develop adaptability, improve your independence, and become more mature as you travel to different areas, cultures, and climates. It has both positive and negative consequences. Adapting to a new environment is difficult for everyone. That is especially true for things over which we have no control, such as climate, atmosphere, and people. Furthermore, if you are a busy person, it will take a significant amount of time to manage your life for the first time. You must, for example, move and prepare equipment and decorations. Furthermore, you must accept that you will be separated from your old friends and must form new relationships. Finally, each option has its own set of challenges. The most important aspect is how we accept it. In my opinion, at such a young age, I should try to explore new places and opportunities. Then, make an informed decision about where to settle down.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of the advancement of modernization, it is not difficult to understand that modern citizens prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in various areas throughout their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. This is
in contrast
to previous eras when most
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lived
in the same place their entire
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
. I believe it has both upsides and downsides for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

There is no denying that living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cities has a variety of advantages for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Indeed
, as you travel from one location to another, you will have the opportunity to explore the world and broaden your knowledge in a variety of settings.
Furthermore
, you will strive for a high standard of living and have more opportunities to obtain a well-paying job. You will develop adaptability,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
your independence, and become more mature as you travel to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
areas, cultures, and climates.

It has both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences. Adapting to a new environment is difficult for everyone.
That is
especially
true for things over which we have no control, such as climate, atmosphere, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
Furthermore
, if you are a busy person, it will take a significant amount of time to manage your life for the
first
time. You
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
,
for example
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
and prepare equipment and decorations.
Furthermore
, you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
accept that you will
be separated
from your
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
friends and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
form new relationships.

Finally
, each option has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
set of challenges. The most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect is how we accept it. In my opinion, at such a young age, I should try to explore new places and opportunities. Then,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an informed decision about where to settle down.

IELTS essay In the past, people usually stayed in one place throughout their life. These days, people often move. . .

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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