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Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think that people should be free to choose.

Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think that people should be free to choose. PVryE
It is considered that the number of sports if it is arduous to do is ceased, whereas there are others who think that whatever we choose is available. In my opinion, I believe that the ranges of sports have their disadvantages and advantage when you work out one of them you chose for your health. On the one hand, there is a wide variety of sports that we select for our capability for our daily lives. Some hazardous sports which we do can be brought the problems without being confirmed for health. Take for example, the rate of fast car racing has been increased than it was many years ago. Every year, in the world, about 500 hundred people is injured and crash when they are on the road. Moreover, boxing as a part of the sport is an unnecessary sport because many people are hit on their head by the competitor on the stage. If a few kinds of sports are included in the terrible list, the sports community needs to restrict from sports.
It
is considered
that the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
if it is arduous to do
is ceased
, whereas there are others who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that whatever we choose is available. In my opinion, I believe that the ranges of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
have their disadvantages and advantage when you work out one of them you chose for your health.

On the one hand, there is a wide variety of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
that we select for our capability for our daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
hazardous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which we do can
be brought
the problems without
being confirmed
for health. Take
for example
, the rate of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
car racing has
been increased
than it was
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years ago. Every year, in the world, about 500 hundred
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
injured and crash when they are on the road.
Moreover
, boxing as a part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is an unnecessary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are hit
on their head by the competitor on the stage. If a few kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are included
in the terrible list, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
community needs to restrict from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that dangerous sports should be banned, while others think that people should be free to choose.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
175 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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