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Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. QL8xb
Nowadays, many individuals spend a few hours on commuting between workplaces and their home. In order to deal with this issue, some people suggest that more residential buildings could be built in replacement of green space in central business districts. Nevertheless, some others are strongly opposed to this opinion. People who advocate the replacement of leisure facilities with apartments have their cogent reasons. For one thing, it helps to tackle with the serious traffic problems. If an increasing number of people were working in cities and lived near their offices, the amount of vehicles in cities would be reduced greatly during peak hours. Meanwhile, the polluted gas emitted by cars would be much less. For another, individuals would have more leisure time when they spend less on travelling between work and home. Once workers live close to their workplaces, they could get up a bit later, do some reading or other habit after getting off. That means they would live a healthier and meaningful lives. However, some others disagree with the above point of view. In their view, recreational spaces play an significant role in people’s lives. Firstly, the natural landscape are important for the whole Eco-system. The action of photosynthesis can absorb a huge amount of carbon dioxide we emit and produce oxygen, which helps to mitigate the urban heat island effect. Secondly, leisure areas are vital for people’s mental health. During lunch time, employees usually have lunch or have a rest in parks, to release their stress from work. Admittedly, both sides are reasonable. From my part, i stand on the side of the latter view that parks and gardens in cities are too important for environment and people’s mental live to be replaced.
Nowadays,
many
individuals spend a few hours on commuting between workplaces and their home. In order to deal with this issue,
some
people
suggest that more residential buildings could
be built
in replacement of green space in central business districts.
Nevertheless
,
some
others are
strongly
opposed to this opinion.

People
who advocate the replacement of leisure facilities with apartments have their cogent reasons. For one thing, it
helps
to tackle with the serious traffic problems. If an increasing number of
people
were working in cities and
lived
near their offices, the amount of vehicles in cities would be
reduced
greatly
during peak hours. Meanwhile, the polluted gas emitted by cars would be much less. For another, individuals would have more leisure time when they spend less on travelling between work and home. Once workers
live
close to their workplaces, they could
get
up a bit later, do
some
reading or other habit after getting off. That means they would
live
a healthier and meaningful
lives
.

However
,
some
others disagree with the above point of view. In their view, recreational spaces play
an
significant role in
people’s
lives
.
Firstly
, the natural landscape are
important
for the whole Eco-system. The action of photosynthesis can absorb a huge amount of carbon dioxide we emit and produce oxygen, which
helps
to mitigate the urban heat island effect.
Secondly
, leisure areas are vital for
people’s
mental health. During
lunch time
, employees
usually
have lunch or have a rest in parks, to release their
stress
from work.

Admittedly
, both sides are reasonable. From my part,
i
stand on the side of the latter view that parks and gardens in cities are too
important
for environment and
people’s
mental
live
to
be replaced
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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