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Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. 2brkx
In many parts of the world, most of the parents admit their children to private schools in order to prepare them for challenges and they do not need to pay taxes and those taxes are managed by state education system. l believe that in some cases state government overhead the taxes likewise, quota students and sometimes in case of student disorder. To commence with, education is most prominent asset of people life, families send their children to private schools to make their future bright and paying costly charges to schools and some parents are weak financially they are not able to pay expensive fee of private schools. To explain, majority of people are unoccupied they do not have earning source, in this condition state education contribute to those families in order to bear their taxes. As a result, those students families do not have worry to pay taxes to schools. For instance, a person is working for school like, he or she is performing peon job so, state government support to that person not only bear their taxes but also offer number of opportunities to their children. Moreover, In various institutes there are number of students who faces plenty of problems in studying due to their physical disorder. In these circumstances state education system provide number of facilities to those children also give concession in education taxes. However, wealthy families must pay taxes to schools and for rich families state education do not provide reboot or concession, they have to pay expensive charges of schools. Soly have not people get benefits of concession excluded rich people. To epitome, financially strong masses are able to get expensive education for their children, they have earning source as well as they get high income so, obviously those people do not have any reason for reduced taxes. In conclusion, I restate my opinion, the families must pay taxes to private schools who belong to wealthy families. However, The state education system indeed contribute to disability students and poor people free from taxes.
In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parts of the world, most of the parents admit their
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children
to
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private
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schools
in order to prepare them for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
challenges and
they do not need to
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pay
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taxes
and those
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taxes
are managed
by
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state
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education
system.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
l
believe that in
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some
cases
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state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
overhead the
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taxes
likewise
, quota
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students
and
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sometimes
in case of
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student
disorder. To commence with,
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education
is
Did you mean "the most"?
most
prominent asset of
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people
life,
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families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
their
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children
to
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private
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schools
to
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make
their future bright and paying costly charges to
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schools
and
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some
parents are weak
financially
they are not able to
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pay
expensive fee of
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private
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schools
. To
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explain
,
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
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people
are unoccupied
they do not have earning source, in this condition
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state
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education
contribute to those
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families
in order to bear their
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taxes
.
As a result
, those
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students
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families
do not have worry to
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pay
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taxes
to
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schools
.
For instance
, a person is working for
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school
like, he or she is performing peon job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
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state
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
support to that person not
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only
bear their
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taxes
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but
also
offer number of opportunities to their
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children
.
Moreover
, In various institutes there are number of
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students
who faces
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of problems in studying due to their physical disorder. In these circumstances
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state
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education
system provide number of facilities to those
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children
also
give concession in
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education
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taxes
.
However
, wealthy
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families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
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pay
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taxes
to
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schools
and for rich
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families
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
do not provide reboot or concession, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
expensive charges of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Soly
have not
Possible agreement error -- use past participle here: "peopled".
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
benefits of concession excluded rich
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people
. To epitome,
financially
strong masses are able to
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get
expensive
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education
for their
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children
, they have earning source
as well
as they
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get
high income
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so
,
obviously
those
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people
do not have any reason for
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reduced
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taxes
.
In conclusion
, I restate my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
who belong to wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
families
.
However
, The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
state
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
system
indeed
contribute to disability
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
free from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
taxes
.
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IELTS essay Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
338 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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