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Some People Think That Dangerous Extreme Sports Such As Rock Climbing Should Be Banned

Some People Think That Dangerous Extreme Sports Such As Rock Climbing Should Be Banned q55qp
It is often argued by some that extreme sport activities such as rock climbing and sky-diving must be stopped for good. I completely disagree with this opinion and think that these sports not only give people a thrilling experience but also provide livelihood to many professionals. Firstly, I believe that the tradition of adventure sports such as rock climbing and sky-diving should be kept alive. In other words, these activities give participants an opportunity to experience something that is not only surreal but also breathtaking. For instance, people who have fear of heights can try tandem skydiving where they would be with a master skydiver. This would not only help a person overcome their fears, but also provide them a life time experience of jumping from an aircraft 25, 000 feet above sea level. Moreover, rock climbing sport is a lifelong hobby of many who love outdoor adventures. To them this sport is a way to escape the chaos of daily routine and enjoy their lone time by climbing cliffs. Some even say that this is their way of meditating. By doing this sport every week, they can get a break from their stressful work life and prepare themselves for the coming week Secondly, I believe that adventure sports should not be banned as it provides livelihood to many professionals out there. In order to become a professional sky-dive master or a rock climbing specialist, people have to go through rigorous and intense training sessions putting in numerous hours of hard work day and night. Since these sports are a passion for many, they would start training from early childhood to become certified experts in these sports. If at all after years of dedication these sports are banned, it would definitely affect their livelihood. In addition, these certified experts know all about safety precautions that should be taken in order to give one a memorable experience. Thus, banning these sports would not only affect their morale, but also drive them to poverty. In conclusion, I strongly believe that adventure sports should not be banned as they provide individuals an unforgettable experience which gives them an adrenaline rush and helps them overcome their fears. Also, banning these sports will ruin the life and career of adventure sports professionals.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that extreme
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activities such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
and sky-diving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
. I completely disagree with this opinion and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
a thrilling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
livelihood to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professionals.

Firstly
, I believe that the tradition of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
and sky-diving should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
alive.
In other words
, these activities
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
participants an opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
something
that is
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
surreal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
breathtaking.
For instance
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have fear of heights can try tandem skydiving where they would be with a master skydiver. This would not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
a person overcome their fears,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
them a
Did you mean "lifetime"?
life time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
of jumping from an aircraft 25, 000 feet above sea level.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is a lifelong hobby of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
outdoor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventures
. To them this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is a way to escape the chaos of daily routine and enjoy their lone time by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
cliffs.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
even say that this is their way of meditating. By doing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
every week, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a break from their stressful work life and prepare themselves for the coming
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
week


Secondly
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should not
be banned
as it
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provides
livelihood to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
professionals out there. In order to become a professional sky-dive master or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rock
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
climbing
specialist,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go through rigorous and intense training sessions putting in numerous hours of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work day and night. Since these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are a passion for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
, they would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
training from early childhood to become certified experts in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. If at all after years of dedication these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are banned
, it would definitely affect their livelihood.
In addition
, these certified experts know all about safety precautions that should
be taken
in order to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
one a memorable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
.
Thus
, banning these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
would not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
affect their morale,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
drive them to poverty.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should not
be banned
as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
provide
individuals an unforgettable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
experience
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
them an adrenaline rush and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them overcome their fears.
Also
, banning these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
will ruin the life and career of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adventure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
professionals.
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IELTS essay Some People Think That Dangerous Extreme Sports Such As Rock Climbing Should Be Banned

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
377 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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