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It is commonly believed that people who work harder get further in life than those who do not. However, some people argue that other factors in life may have just as much impact on a person's success other than hard work. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

It is commonly believed that people who work harder get further in life than those who do not. However, some people argue that other factors in life may have just as much impact on a person's success other than hard work. xggr1
Most believe that people who work harder are more successful quoting examples from various famous and extremely successful people. While some believe there are other factors in plays and that other factors could affect a person's life just as much. I believe that both are correct, but the latter is more true. Hard work is not the only factor in success. The first view is undoubtedly correct. Working hard can improve a person’s status and living conditions. With the right circumstances, working hard can almost always yield positive results, and lead us further in our lives. No matter what a person is doing, they have to work hard to yield results. On the other hand, while the first view is correct, the second is too. Without some luck, hard work cannot yield results. No matter how hard you try in an economic recession to maintain a business, chances are, you can’t, unless by are miracle the tides turn, or some generous souls are willing to give your support. Luck is a factor in success as well. Showing that, other factors can indeed affect success just as much as hard work. Therefore, what I believe is that while hardwork does help people get further in life, other factors do too. Hardwork is only one among thousands success certainly, is not based on hardwork alone.
Most
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believe
that
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people
who
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work
harder are more successful quoting examples from various
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famous
and
extremely
successful
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people
. While
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some
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believe
there are
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other
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factors
in plays and that
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other
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factors
could affect a person's life
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just
as much. I
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believe
that both are correct,
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but
the latter is more true.
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Hard
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work
is not the
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only
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factor
in success.

The
first
view is
undoubtedly
correct. Working
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hard
can
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improve
a person’s status and living conditions. With the right circumstances, working
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hard
can almost always yield
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positive
results, and lead us
further
in our
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lives
. No matter what a person is doing, they
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have to
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work
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hard
to yield results.

On the
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other
hand, while the
first
view is correct, the second is too. Without
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some
luck,
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hard
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work
cannot yield results. No matter how
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hard
you try in an economic recession to maintain a business, chances are, you can’t, unless by are miracle the tides turn, or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
generous souls are willing to give your support. Luck is a
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factor
in success
as well
. Showing that,
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other
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factors
can
indeed
affect success
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just
as much as
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hard
work.

Therefore
, what I
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believe
is that while
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hardwork
does
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help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
further
in life,
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other
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factors
do too.
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Hardwork
is
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only
one among thousands success
certainly
, is not based on
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hardwork
alone.
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IELTS essay It is commonly believed that people who work harder get further in life than those who do not. However, some people argue that other factors in life may have just as much impact on a person's success other than hard work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
223 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
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    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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