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Some people think that dangerious sports should be banned

Some people think that dangerious sports should be banned bYl93
Many people claim that Dangerous sports should be banned. Sports are the most pressing medium of entertainment. There are several kinds of sports which are comfortable as well as dangerious. We can mention Cricket, Football, Hockey etcetera. Although these games are hazardous they contribute a lot to mitigate our stress of daily life. From my point of view, inspite of being risky these sports should not be banned directly. If we think about some famous and remarkable players of different dangerious sports, how did they become popular all over the world? For example, Shakib Al Hasan who is the world's number one all rounder player of cricket. Leonel Messi, the outstanding legendary player of footbal. They become famous for playing hazardous games. So, it is vivid that we should not expect risky games should be forbidden but played with strict rules and regulations.
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Many
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people
claim that
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Dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should
be banned
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sports
are the most pressing medium of entertainment. There are several kinds of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
which are comfortable
as well
as
Possible spelling mistake found.
dangerious
. We can mention Cricket, Football, Hockey etcetera.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
these games are hazardous they contribute a lot to mitigate our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
of daily life. From my point of view,
Possible spelling mistake found.
inspite
of being risky these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
should not
be banned
directly
. If we
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think
about
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some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
and remarkable players of
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different
Possible spelling mistake found.
dangerious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
, how did they become popular all over the world?
For example
,
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Shakib
Al
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Hasan
who is the world's number one
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
all rounder
player of cricket. Leonel Messi, the outstanding legendary player of
Possible spelling mistake found.
footbal
. They become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
for playing hazardous games.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, it is vivid that we should not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
risky games should
be forbidden
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
played with strict
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and regulations.
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IELTS essay Some people think that dangerious sports should be banned

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
143 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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