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Some people think that criminal behaviour has genetic causes. Others believe that it is circumstances that lead people to commit a crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that criminal behaviour has genetic causes. Others believe that it is circumstances that lead people to commit a crime. QR85b
In this era, many people have been scared of further violent activities. There are several arguments about the reason for criminal intent between inheritance or relative situations. In my opinion, both points of view can explain the reasons for criminal actions. According to the view which shows the genes are more important for criminal behavior, some offenders have had a history of teasing people until they were young. Moreover, some serial killers had met the psychiatry for their mental problems such as anti-social or aggressive behavior, but they could not be normally then making exhausted events. On the other hand, people who have grown amid an environment that has plenty of hazards such as addicted drugs, domestic violence, or financial problem, tend to make crimes even though they do not have a mental problem. They have opportunities to be criminals including buglers, drug-seller, or robbers. In conclusion, it is hard to say that only a factor causes all criminal, but I think related background influence crime more than genetic factors because more criminal has grown up from bad experience than the genetic problem.
In this era,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
been scared
of
further
violent activities. There are several arguments about the reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
intent between inheritance or relative situations. In my opinion, both points of view can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
the reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
actions.

According to the view which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the genes are more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
behavior,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
offenders have had a history of teasing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
until they were young.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
serial killers had met the psychiatry for their mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
such as anti-social or aggressive behavior,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they could not be
normally
then making exhausted
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

On the other hand
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have grown amid an environment that has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of hazards such as addicted drugs, domestic violence, or financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
, tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
crimes
even though
they do not have a mental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
. They have opportunities to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminals
including buglers, drug-seller, or robbers.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to say that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a factor causes all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
related background influence crime more than genetic factors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
criminal
has grown up from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
experience than the genetic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that criminal behaviour has genetic causes. Others believe that it is circumstances that lead people to commit a crime.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
183 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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