Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Multinational companies are increasingly making their products available all over the world and damaging our local quality of life. To what extent to do agree or disagree?

Multinational companies are increasingly making their products available all over the world and damaging our local quality of life. dlq3P
Multinational companies find it easy both to market their products all over the world and to set up factories wherever they find it convenient (paraphrase the question). However, has this had ( use present perfect here to show that past affects the present) a harmful effect on our quality of life? (Use question to lead into body of text). I believe it has. The first area to consider (signpost your first point in the second paragraph) is their products. Supporters of globalisation argue that multinational companies make high-quality goods available to more people. (Give alternative point of view) While this may be true to some extent (give a concession), it also means that we have less choice of products to buy. When powerful multinational companies invade local markets with their goods, they often force local companies with fewer resources to go out of business. (Use 1. st conditionals) As a consequence, we are obliged to buy multinational products whether we like them or not. This brings me to my second point. (Signpost your second point). It is sometimes said that multinational companies and globalisationare making societies more open (give alternative view). This may be true (give concession). However, I would argue that as a result the human race is losing its cultural diversity. If we consumed different products, societies all over the world would be more varied (use 2nd conditional). This can be seen bythe fact that weall shop in similar multinational supermarkets and buy identical products wherever we live. Finally (signpost your final point), defenders of multinational companies often point out that they provide employment (gives alternative view). Although this is undoubtedly true (gives concession), it also means that we have become more dependent on them, which in turn makes us more vulnerable to their decisions. When, for example, a multinational decides to move its production facilities to another country, this has an adverse effect on its workers who lose their jobs (use 1st conditional). In conclusion (signpost the conclusion), I believe (signpost your opinion) that if we as voters pressured our governments to make multinational companies more responsible and to protect local producers from outside competition, we would have the benefits of globalisation without its disadvantages (use 2nd conditional).
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
find it easy both to market their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
all over the world and to set up factories wherever they find it convenient (paraphrase the question).
However
, has this had
Don't put a space after the opening parenthesis
(
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
present perfect here to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that past affects the present) a harmful effect on our quality of life? (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
question to lead into body of text). I believe it has.

The
first
area to consider
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(signpost
your
first
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
in the second paragraph) is their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Supporters of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
high-quality
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
available to more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(Give
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
of view) While this may be true to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(give
a concession), it
also
means that we have less choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
. When powerful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
invade local markets with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
force local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
with fewer resources to go out of business. (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Use
1.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
st
conditionals) As a consequence, we
are obliged
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
whether we like them or not.

This brings me to my second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(Signpost
your second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point)
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
said that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
globalisationare
making societies more open
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(give
alternative view). This may be true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(give
concession).
However
, I would argue that
as a result
the human race is losing its cultural diversity. If we consumed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, societies all over the world would be more varied (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
2nd conditional). This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
Possible spelling mistake found.
bythe
fact that
Possible spelling mistake found.
weall
shop in similar
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
supermarkets and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
identical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
wherever we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(signpost
your final
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point)
, defenders of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
out that they provide employment
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(gives
alternative view). Although this is
undoubtedly
true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(gives
concession), it
also
means that we have become more dependent on them, which in turn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
us more vulnerable to their decisions. When,
for example
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
decides to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
its production facilities to another country, this has an adverse effect on its workers who lose their jobs (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
1st conditional).

In conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(signpost
the conclusion), I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
(signpost
your opinion) that if we as voters pressured our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
multinational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
more responsible and to protect local producers from outside competition, we would have the benefits of
Possible spelling mistake. 'globalisation' is British English.
globalisation
without its disadvantages (
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
2nd conditional).
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Multinational companies are increasingly making their products available all over the world and damaging our local quality of life.

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Multinational companies are increasingly making their products available all over the world and damaging our local quality of life. To what extent to do agree or disagree?