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Some people think that children who are given pocket money every week have poor problems managing money when become adults.

Some people think that children who are given pocket money every week have poor problems managing money when become adults. GwbPg
Some people think that children who are given pocket money every week have poor problems managing money when become adults. I agree this issue because it is help children when they turn adults. One the hand, navadays children learn managing money. If they are do not know managing money, they Will spend in vain. Managing money have a lot of good sides for people. It is help to us when our have problem. Nawadeys children do not earn money, their parents give money for their children. Their children udults after earn a money. If we earn a money we study hard. If we have own job we are easy earn a money. On the other hand, if we know managing money's our problems ourselves to solve the problems. We use the managing money in the advertising, in the shop, in the bazaar, in the kafe and other places. If we do not know managing money we spend a lot of money. That is why we learn managing money. it is important our life else we have not money, we do not nought. In conclusion, I do not know my idea true or false, but managing money important our life. It is help children earn money and managing money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
every week have poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
when become adults. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
this issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they turn adults.

One the hand,
Possible spelling mistake found.
navadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. If they are
Consider using a past participle here: "done".
do
not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, they Will spend in vain. Managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
sides for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to us when our have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problem
.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Nawadeys
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, their parents give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
Possible spelling mistake found.
udults
after
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
we study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
job we are easy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "money".
a money
.

On the other hand
, if we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
managing money's our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
ourselves to solve the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
problems
. We
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
in the advertising, in the shop, in the bazaar, in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
kafe
and other places.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
we do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
we spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
That is
why we learn managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
our life else we have not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, we do not
Possible spelling mistake found.
nought
.

In conclusion
, I do not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
know
my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
true or false,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
our life. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and managing
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
money
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IELTS essay Some people think that children who are given pocket money every week have poor problems managing money when become adults.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
207 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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