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Money has become an important issues in recent years in every family.

Money has become an important issues in recent years in every family. 06xGG
Money has become an important issues in recent years in every family. A number of people think that giving a pocket money to children weekly have less difficulties about managing money when they become adult. I am partially agree with this idea and I am going ti discuss both sides if the issue. Firstly children learn about cash management in their early life if parents them a bit money per a week. And children can improve their money management skill by experiencing to spend their money which their parents give. For example children can spend money for important things they need and it can be taught effectively how to handle the budget. Therefore, parents should give money to children weekly. However there is also the other side of the coin. Giving a big amount of money to their children can change them and contribute some problems. Children spend their cash for unimportant things, go various places to spend their time and money. It leads to evil. One illustration of this is that they go to play games in computer rooms and other places frequently. Even they implicate to bad groups. It might defeats thier bright future. In conclusion I would like to say giving a pocket money to kids can teach them the value of the money but sometimes ther parents should control their children.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
has become an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
issues in recent years in every family. A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that giving a pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
weekly have
Did you mean "fewer"? The noun difficulties is countable.
less
difficulties about managing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
when they become adult. I am
partially
Consider using a past participle here: "agreed".
agree
with this
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
idea and
I am going ti discuss both sides if the issue.

Firstly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn about cash management in their early life if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
them a
It seems that there's a missing preposition after ''.
bit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
per a week. And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
by experiencing to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
which their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
give.
For example
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things they need and it can
be taught
effectively
how to handle the budget.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should give
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
weekly.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
there is
also
the other side of the coin. Giving a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
them and contribute
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
problems.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their cash for unimportant things, go various places to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their time and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. It leads to evil. One illustration of this is that they go to play games in computer rooms and other places
frequently
. Even they implicate to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
groups. It might
The verb 'might' requires the base form of the verb: "defeat"
defeats
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
bright future.

In
The comma is probably missing here: "conclusion, I".
conclusion I
would like to say giving a pocket
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to kids can teach them the value of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
Possible spelling mistake found.
ther
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should control their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
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IELTS essay Money has become an important issues in recent years in every family.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
225 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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