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Some people think that children spend too much time watching television and playing video games instead of taking part in more productive activities. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that children spend too much time watching television and playing video games instead of taking part in more productive activities. 70W36
Nowadays, setting children’s free time is one of the more crucial issues facing families. Therefore, in today’s fast-developing era, children have a plethora of opportunities to spend their leisure time on activities such as watching TV, playing with telephones, and so on. While I accept that dealing with electrical gadgets can make a disruptive effect on children, I also believe that families should let them allot time for TV and phones. The first reason why I agree with coping with digital devices has a beneficial effect on children is that digital supplements can give a rise to children’s minds. The opinion I want to emphasize is that in television and phones, there have had numerous mind-broaden activities. As the results of experiments of Oxford Universities on 100 children demonstrate that the children who played a game on the telephone or watched TV are more capable than those who do not. Also, the cartoons and games have been analyzing by capable and intelligent phycologists before they are shown. If the phycologists find a point which can be harmful to the children’s minds, they prohibit them or set an age warning. On the other hand, these digital activities have a detrimental impact on children’s social relationships. In other words, if children waste plenty of time on this kind of action, they have no chance to interact with others. They will lose their interaction abilities and can not find friends. For instance, a survey carried out in Dubai shows that toddlers who immerse in TV and phones generally constrain of limited friends. In conclusion, I believe that parents allocate the time for their children to the TV and phones as it has benefits, I also think the negative effects of these electrical supplements should not be underestimated. I would therefore recommend that every family has to make a schedule for their children which contain both digital and non-digital activities.
Nowadays, setting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
is one of the more crucial issues facing families.
Therefore
, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-developing era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a plethora of opportunities to spend their leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
such as watching TV, playing with telephones, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. While I accept that dealing with electrical gadgets can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a disruptive effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, I
also
believe that families should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them allot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for TV and phones.

The
first
reason why I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with coping with digital devices has a beneficial effect on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is that digital supplements can give a rise to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
minds. The opinion I want to emphasize is that in television and phones, there have had numerous mind-broaden
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
. As the results of experiments of Oxford Universities on 100
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
demonstrate that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who played a game on the telephone or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
TV are more capable than those who do not.
Also
, the cartoons and games have been analyzing by capable and intelligent
Possible spelling mistake found.
phycologists
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
are shown
. If the
Possible spelling mistake found.
phycologists
find a point which can be harmful to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
minds, they prohibit them or set an age warning.

On the other hand
, these digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
have a detrimental impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
social relationships.
In other words
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
waste
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on this kind of action, they have no chance to interact with others. They will lose their interaction abilities and can not find friends.
For instance
, a survey carried out in Dubai
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that toddlers who immerse in TV and phones
generally
constrain of limited friends.

In conclusion
, I believe that parents allocate the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to the TV and phones as it has benefits, I
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects of these electrical supplements should not
be underestimated
. I would
therefore
recommend that every family
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a schedule for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
which contain both digital and non-digital
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that children spend too much time watching television and playing video games instead of taking part in more productive activities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
316 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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