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parents are more engaged in their children's education

parents are more engaged in their children's education wMKmm
Life has been changing for a while in many areas, especially in parenting. While some people believe that parents are more engaged in their children's education, others may disagree. It depends on the lens through which one is looking. From my lens, I defenitely agree with the statement. I feel this way because of two reasons, which I will illustrate in the subsequent paragraphs. To start, the percentage of educated parents are higher than before, which impacts their relationship with their children. Parents are having skills and competencies to help their kids. I have to admit that my opinion in the matter has been profoundly affected by my personal experience. My parents can not read or write, so they could not help me in my school. their efforts were limited to motivation and nice meals. On the other hand, I follow up the school classes with my son, Sam, every day. In addition, based on my college degree in math, I am able to help him his algebra's homeworks. This shows that, while the parents' love has not changed, their capabilities of helping their children have been improved. Secondly, the schooling system has changed. Schools now developed a system in where parents should be involved in their children education. For example, my son's school requires all parents to register in the parents' portals, which enables them to see their children's marks, daily activities, and home works. In addition, if there is any challenges their children are facing, they can find notes and comment, and they can write back to them for more details or solutions. As a result, parents, unconsciously, find themselves engaged in the their children education. If school in the past had had this strong strategy in communication, parents would have been more involved in their children's education.
Life has been changing for a while in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
areas,
especially
in parenting. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are more engaged in their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, others may disagree. It depends on the lens through which one is looking. From my lens, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
defenitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement. I feel this way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of two reasons, which I will illustrate in the subsequent paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
, the percentage of educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
are higher than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, which impacts their relationship with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
are having
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and competencies to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
their kids. I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
admit that my opinion in the matter has been
profoundly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by my personal experience. My
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
can not read or write,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
me in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
their
efforts
were limited
to motivation and nice meals.
On the other hand
, I follow up the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
classes with my son, Sam, every day.
In addition
, based on my college degree in math, I am able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
him his algebra's
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
. This
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that, while the parents'
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
, their capabilities of helping their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
.

Secondly
, the schooling system has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
developed a system in where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should
be involved
in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
For example
, my son's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
requires all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to register in the parents' portals, which enables them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
their children's marks, daily activities, and home works.
In addition
, if
Did you mean "there are any challenges"?
there is any challenges
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are facing, they can find notes and comment, and they can write back to them for more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
or solutions.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
,
unconsciously
, find themselves engaged in the their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
in the past had had this strong strategy in communication,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
would have been more involved in their children's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
.
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IELTS essay parents are more engaged in their children's education

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
300 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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