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Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do, but others think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems well by themselves. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.1

Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do, but others think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems well by themselves. v. 1
People argued that parents and teachers should impose restrictions to children, however, some people, being overprotective and controlling will hinder the development of their cognitive and problem-solving skills. This essay will tackle those viewpoints, yet, I still believe that parents and teachers should supervise them with a right balance between being stern and lose in specific conditions. Teaching children to obey rules and regulations is a contributing factor to instill good moral and values to shape children’s character. By learning to follow these at an early age will help them understand that there are inappropriate actions that could harm them, and there are right conducts which they need to observe. As a result, these children will grow up as a decent person with noble values and behaviour. On the other hand, there are circumstances that parents and teachers tend to neglect that they at times become so domineering to enforce many rules which become detrimental to the children’s development. For instance, youngsters need freedom to explore things to cultivate their skills and knowledge. Since they become mindful of the rules and possible punishment for the consequence of their actions, it would lead them to limit themselves to their comfort zone. Consequently, when challenges come their way, they are more fearful to take risk and solve the problems on their own, because they become so used to consult everything to adults, instead of doing something new on their own. In my opinion, it is significant to discipline children by teaching them to obey some rules to cultivate their values and help them understand what is right and wrong. Nevertheless, it is equally important that parents and teachers should weigh in how much they should control the children without compromising their freedom to discover other things which are vital to their upbringing and personal growth.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
argued that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should impose restrictions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, being overprotective and controlling will hinder the development of their cognitive and problem-solving
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. This essay will tackle those viewpoints,
yet
, I
still
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should supervise them with a right balance between being stern and lose in specific conditions.

Teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to obey
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and regulations is a contributing factor to instill
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
moral and values to shape
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
character. By learning to follow these at an early age will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them understand that there are inappropriate actions that could harm them, and there are right conducts which they need to observe.
As a result
, these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will grow up as a decent person with noble values and
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
.

On the other hand
, there are circumstances that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
tend to neglect that they at times
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
domineering to enforce
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
detrimental to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
development.
For instance
, youngsters need freedom to explore things to cultivate their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge. Since they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
mindful of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
and possible punishment for the consequence of their actions, it would lead them to limit themselves to their comfort zone.
Consequently
, when challenges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
their way, they are more fearful to take
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
and solve the problems on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to consult everything to adults,
instead
of doing something new on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.

In my opinion, it is significant to discipline
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
by teaching them to obey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rules
to cultivate their values and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them understand what is right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
.
Nevertheless
, it is
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teachers
should weigh in how much they should control the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
without compromising their freedom to discover other things which are vital to their upbringing and personal growth.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that children should obey rules or do what their parents and teachers want them to do, but others think that children controlled too much cannot deal with problems well by themselves. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
303 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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