Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that children should learn to design and make things in school. Others believe that there are better things to learn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that children should learn to design and make things in school. Others believe that there are better things to learn. 06rWG
Education play a tremendous roles in everyone life but different people different opinion about the way education delivered the content of the curriculum. A number of individuals believe students should learn designing and make things at school on the contrary some other people think are more crucial things to study. I think course syllabus should cover all designing and modeling as part of the education and I will explain why in the following essay. In society different people do different jobs to meet their daily expenses. If students receive an opportunity to learn design and model things in school, then some of them can master in these skills and utilize it as job or business in their future depends on their interest. Additionally, scholars get a opportunity to learn the criticality of all the jobs and how these integrates to each society, so when they grow up they will respect and treat everyone equally. For instance, Cambodia faced a major financial crisis in early 20th century and many people lost they job but surprisingly many start building sculptures and models from tree root and exporting to Europe, they learn this skill during their early school days and it help them to improve their financial stability. On the other hand, some people trust children must focus on important things like academic education rather than spending their valuable time in design and make things. For instance, in their point of view other things can be learned after the completion of higher secondary or graduation. By this approach kids will be able to complete their academic subjects with good merits and later they can attend other courses based of their interest. For example, many students do computer courses like CCNA or CCNP after graduation. There are numerous benefits for both the approach and it is very difficult to conclude which one is better than other. Still in my point of view teaching designing and modeling in school have many vital values. Based on this argument I support every school must teach designing and modeling as part of the education curriculum.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "plays".
play
a tremendous
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "role"?
roles
in everyone life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
opinion about the way
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
delivered the content of the curriculum. A number of individuals believe students should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
designing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
on the contrary
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
are more crucial things to study. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
course syllabus should cover all designing and modeling as part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
why in the following essay.

In society
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
their daily expenses. If students receive an opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
design and model things in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, then
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of them can master in these
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and utilize it as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or business in their future depends on their interest.
Additionally
, scholars
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
opportunity to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the criticality of all the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and how
The verb 'integrates' is singular. Did you mean: "This integrates" or "these integrate"?
these integrates
to each society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
when they grow up they will respect and treat everyone
equally
.
For instance
, Cambodia faced a major financial crisis in early 20th century and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
lost they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
surprisingly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
building sculptures and models from tree root and exporting to Europe, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
during their early
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
days and it
Did you mean "helps"?
help
them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their financial stability.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
trust children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
focus on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things like academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
rather
than spending their valuable time in design and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
things.
For instance
, in their point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
things can
be learned
after the completion of higher secondary or graduation. By this approach kids will be able to complete their academic subjects with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
merits and later they can attend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
courses based of their interest.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
students do computer courses like CCNA or CCNP after graduation.

There are numerous benefits for both the approach and it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult
to conclude
which one is better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Still
in my point of view teaching designing and modeling in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
vital values. Based on this argument I support every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
teach designing and modeling as part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
curriculum.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that children should learn to design and make things in school. Others believe that there are better things to learn.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people think that children should learn to design and make things in school. Others believe that there are better things to learn. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.