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People with ten or more years’ experience at work are far more knowledgeable than people still in their twenties. It is therefore logical that employers should always choose older people over young people for work. What are your opinions on this?

People with ten or more years’ experience at work are far more knowledgeable than people still in their twenties. It is therefore logical that employers should always choose older people over young people for work. What are your opinions on this? KWAwN
It is believed over-10-year-experienced people are more well-informed than newbies so organizations tend to always opt for the older employees rather than the young. From my perspective, I think there are both positive and negative sides of this notion and the choice should be flexible. On the on hand, it is undisputed that seniors are good choice for work in some circumstances. Firstly, employees from thirties to sixties would be more suitable than the twenties in the work that requires a wide range of experience. For instance, in several companies, some important working positions such as leaders or managers are often undertaken by the people who have numerous experienced years because they have known the company very well throughout many years. Moreover, the older have more self-confidence in their decisions at work rather than the young who have little experience. In some companies, it is necessary for employees to end up decisions to solve serious problems by themselves, which is quite easy for seniors but challenging for juniors. On the other hand, that juniors lack of experience does not means their performance at is not as proper as seniors do. Initially, it is undeniable that the younger in twenties would be more energy than the older. They have got the enthusiasm and plenty of stamina for work which rarely appear in the employees from forties to sixties but considerably contribute to develop the company. In addition, today, the youths are more and more talented and creative and update the latest global trend, which help work out new methods to solve the problems. For instance, numerous companies are now applying digitalization to their management systems which require employees to have an insight of the newest technology and creativity which employers could find from the young people. In summary, personally, I believe that the mentioned statement has either positive or negative sides and the employers should be flexible in choosing who for work.
It
is believed
over-10-year-experienced
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are more well-informed than newbies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
organizations tend to always opt for the older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
rather
than the young. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are both
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides of this notion and the choice should be flexible.

On the on hand, it
is undisputed
that seniors are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
choice for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
circumstances.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
from thirties to sixties would be more suitable than the twenties in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
that requires a wide range of experience.
For instance
, in several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
working positions such as leaders or managers are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
undertaken by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who have numerous experienced years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have known the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well throughout
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
years.
Moreover
, the older have more self-confidence in their decisions at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
rather
than the young who have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
experience. In
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, it is necessary for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
up decisions to solve serious problems by themselves, which is quite easy for seniors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
challenging for juniors.

On the other hand
, that juniors lack of experience does not
The verb 'does' requires base form of the verb: "mean"
means
their performance at is not as proper as seniors do.
Initially
, it is undeniable that the younger in twenties would be more energy than the older. They have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the enthusiasm and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plenty
of stamina for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
which rarely appear in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
from forties to sixties
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
considerably
contribute to develop the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
.
In addition
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, the youths are more and more talented and creative and update the latest global trend, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
out new methods to solve the problems.
For instance
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
applying digitalization to their management systems which require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
to have an insight of the newest technology and creativity which employers could find from the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

In summary,
personally
, I believe that the mentioned statement has either
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
sides and the employers should be flexible in choosing who for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
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IELTS essay People with ten or more years’ experience at work are far more knowledgeable than people still in their twenties. It is therefore logical that employers should always choose older people over young people for work. What are your opinions on this?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
321 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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