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Some educators think international exchange programs would benefit teenagers in High School. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Some educators think international exchange programs would benefit teenagers in High School. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages? BM5lV
In recent years, some teachers believe that foreign exchange programmes are great opportunities for pupils because they can boost student’s career prospects. Whilst some argue that this trend is the main reason leading to culture shock and racist, I believe it is more largely advantageous than disadvantageous due to the growing independence and knowledge of each individual. On the one hand, engaging in international exchange projects has some negative influences on the young generation’s psychology. The first drawback is culture shock, which is entirely different in many aspects such as unfamiliar customs, different beliefs and the dissimilar time zone. In the first period, students can feel extremely lonely and they have to struggle to adapt to another culture. The culture shock can lead to numerous consequences as a misunderstanding, tension and even conflicts if people do not understand each other. Furthermore, racist is also a controversial issue, which natives treat unequal with foreigners, or they believe that their race is more intelligent, moral and better than people who belong in other races. As a result, overseas students tend to be in injustice when they enrol the global exchange programmes. On the other hand, I am firm of the opinion that international exchange projects are truly beneficial for pupils because they are met their peers from all over the world and shared knowledge about culture, academic knowledge and social skills. The student exchange programmes bring students opportunities to broaden their horizons and get a deeper insight into a culture, which can avoid culture shock. Furthermore, exchange students are also comprehended with international curriculum and experienced advanced technologies, which may not develop in their home country. Additionally, numerous students wish to become a part of noble universities and institutes in the world such as Harvard University or the University of Oxford. If employees are equipped with specialized knowledge and have a range of social skills, they will have a more successful rate to apply in some vacancies in famous incorporations. The foreign exchange programmes also boost culture inference, which is advantageous in foreign trade and international diplomacy. In conclusion, although the international exchange projects have some obstacles, studying abroad is a wise path towards becoming a well-adjusted, independent, and high-functioning member of society. In my opinion, the international exchange program’s advantages outweigh its disadvantages.
In recent years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
teachers believe that foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
are great opportunities for pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
career prospects. Whilst
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that this trend is the main reason leading to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shock
and racist, I believe it is more
largely
advantageous than disadvantageous due to the growing independence and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
of each individual.

On the one hand, engaging in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
projects has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influences on the young generation’s psychology. The
first
drawback is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shock
, which is
entirely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
aspects such as unfamiliar customs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
beliefs and the dissimilar time zone. In the
first
period,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can feel
extremely
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
lonely and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
struggle to adapt to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shock
can lead to numerous consequences as a misunderstanding, tension and even conflicts if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not understand each other.
Furthermore
, racist is
also
a controversial issue, which natives treat unequal with foreigners, or they believe that their race is more intelligent, moral and better than
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who belong in other races.
As a result
, overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
tend to be in injustice when they enrol the global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
.

On the other hand
, I am firm of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
projects are
truly
beneficial for pupils
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they
are met
their peers from all over the world and shared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, academic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
bring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
opportunities to broaden their horizons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a deeper insight into a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
, which can avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shock
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
also
comprehended with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
curriculum and experienced advanced technologies, which may not develop in their home country.
Additionally
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
wish to become a part of noble universities and institutes in the world such as Harvard University or the University of Oxford. If employees
are equipped
with specialized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
knowledge
and have a range of social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, they will have a more successful rate to apply in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
vacancies in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
Possible spelling mistake found.
incorporations
. The foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
also
boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
inference, which is advantageous in foreign trade and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
diplomacy.

In conclusion
, although the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
projects have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obstacles, studying abroad is a wise path towards becoming a well-adjusted, independent, and high-functioning member of society. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exchange
program’s advantages outweigh its disadvantages.
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IELTS essay Some educators think international exchange programs would benefit teenagers in High School. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
382 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
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Lexical Resource: 5.0
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Grammatical Range: 6.5
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    Present relevant ideas
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