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Some people think that children should begin thier formal educatuon as soon as possible. Some think they should begin at 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that children should begin thier formal educatuon as soon as possible. Some think they should begin at 7 years old. dDklX
While there are individuals who believe that the optimal time for children to begin learning is as soon as possible. Others argue they should spend time playing and only start studying when aged 7. I am confident that the later is better. Those who pursue the first idea have their own reasons. Firstly, they are convinced that the earlier kids study, the more intelligent they will be come. This is because these youngsters will have a better start than those who start later. Secondly, the children will be more competitive, motivated and can cope with stress in the long run. Moreover, they will have better grades, better paid jobs, which are highly rated in the world. Despite thses arguments, i believe starting at age 7 is the right choice. Firstly, children at this age are meant to be happy, not wastinf their childhood competing with others to find who can solve a simple math problem faster This is not a good scenario for the youngsters, who shohld spend their time with peers and family. Secondly, by forcing a child to study from an early age, ypu will unintentionally create a preconception about having to be the best, resulting in negative effects later on. Last but not least, this is the golden period for children to develop their health. By giving them chances to take part in physical activities amd to engage with their surroundings, you will help bring benefits to their skeletal and muscular systemz, increasing their weight and height. To sum up, allowing you children to start learning only when they are 7 brings about a number of benefits to them, better than the short-term ones brought by learning too early. Undoubtedly, these advantages will lead to a better generation.
While there are individuals
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
believe that the optimal time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
learning is as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible. Others argue they should spend time playing and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
studying when aged 7. I am confident that the
Did you mean "latter" (=the second of two items)?
later
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
. Those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
pursue the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reasons.
Firstly
, they
are convinced
that the earlier kids study, the more intelligent they will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these youngsters will have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
later.
Secondly
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be more competitive, motivated and can cope with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
in the long run.
Moreover
, they will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
grades,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
paid jobs, which are
highly
rated in the world. Despite
Possible spelling mistake found.
thses
arguments,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe starting at age 7 is the right choice.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at this age
are meant
to be happy, not
Possible spelling mistake found.
wastinf
their childhood competing with others to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
can solve a simple math problem faster This is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
scenario for the youngsters,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Possible spelling mistake found.
shohld
spend their time with peers and family.
Secondly
, by forcing a child to study from an early age,
Possible spelling mistake found.
ypu
will
unintentionally
create a preconception about having to be the best, resulting in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects later on. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, this is the golden period for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to develop their health. By giving them chances to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in physical activities
Possible spelling mistake found.
amd
to engage with their surroundings, you will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
bring benefits to their skeletal and muscular
Possible spelling mistake found.
systemz
, increasing their weight and height. To sum up, allowing you
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
start
learning
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
when they are 7 brings about a number of benefits to them,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
than the short-term ones brought by learning too early.
Undoubtedly
, these advantages will lead to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
generation.
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IELTS essay Some people think that children should begin thier formal educatuon as soon as possible. Some think they should begin at 7 years old.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
291 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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