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Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. Discuss both sides. v.3

Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. v. 3
Recent improvements in the education system have put global society in to a huge debate among teaching cooworking or compete with each other which brings beneficial to their status. Indeed, there is suggested that team working much more advantages for learners future career and lifestyle. Children who learn to compete against each other often do better in school, according to some. In other words, the competition between students motivates them to excel in their studies or tasks which consequently produces better academic performance and results. For example, students generally apply themselves and work harder when they are in direct competition with their classmates. Furthermore, it is commonly believed that being driven to achieve the best is vital in order to succeed later in life when, as adults, they must compete against others in the job market. On the other hand, it is often thought that it is better if the emphasis at the school is on cooperating with others in a team. People do not live, work or socialise apart from others, so learning how to work alongside others ought to be taught from childhood. Without these skills, children would lack the ability to communicate with each other or know how to deal with confrontations and conflicts in a constructive way. Another reason why team skills are useful for children is that they can learn how to negotiate with others to complete a task which are useful skills to have for their future. In conclusion, many people think that children need to become more competitive, whereas others think that it is best for a child to focus on working together.
Recent improvements in the education system have put global society in to a huge debate among teaching
cooworking
or compete with each
other
which brings beneficial to their status.
Indeed
, there
is suggested
that team working much more advantages for learners future career and lifestyle.

Children who learn to compete against each
other
often
do better in school, according to
some
. In
other
words, the competition between students motivates them to excel in their studies or tasks which
consequently
produces better academic performance and results.
For example
, students
generally
apply themselves and work harder when they are in direct competition with their classmates.
Furthermore
, it is
commonly
believed that
being driven
to achieve the best is vital in order to succeed later in life when, as adults, they
must
compete against others in the job market.

On the
other
hand, it is
often
thought
that it is better if the emphasis at the school is on cooperating with others in a team.
People
do not
live
, work or
socialise
apart from others,
so
learning how to work alongside others ought to
be taught
from childhood. Without these
skills
, children would lack the ability to communicate with each
other
or know how to deal with confrontations and conflicts
in a constructive way
. Another reason why team
skills
are useful for children is that they can learn how to negotiate with others to complete a task which are useful
skills
to have for their future.

In conclusion
,
many
people
think
that children need to become more competitive, whereas others
think
that it is best for a child to focus on working together.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
Language is the road map of a culture. It tells you where its people come from and where they are going.
Rita Mae Brown

IELTS essay Some people think that children should be taught to be competitive in school. Others, however, say that cooperation and team working skills are more important. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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