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Some people think that boys and girls should attend school together. Others feel that they should be educated separately. Discuss both sides and give your own opinion.

In this concurrent era, single sex educations disperse across the education world. While some individual believe that students should study in gender specific schools. I side with those who feel that co-educational schools bring more benefits. On the one hand, it could be argued that the boys and girls schools ought to separate. Those who claim that the single sex education is unhealthy in terms of children’s social development because they could not developed the communication skills, and behaviours with different genders. What is more, they also argue that same genders schools, being only around same genders can lead to cattiness among groups and sometimes bullying in some cases.
In this concurrent era, single sex educations disperse across the education world. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individual believe that students should study in gender specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
. I side with those who feel that co-educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
bring more benefits.

On the one hand, it could
be argued
that the boys and girls
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
ought to separate. Those who claim that the single sex education is unhealthy in terms of children’s social development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they could not developed the communication
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and behaviours with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
genders.
What is more
, they
also
argue that same genders
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
, being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
around same genders can lead to cattiness among groups and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
bullying in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases.

IELTS essay Some people think that boys and girls should attend school together. Others feel that they should be educated separately.

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
109 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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