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Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t.

Successful people, their lifestyle and their accomplishments always have made positive influence on ordinary people. Especially, young people get more attraction for sports and try to play same as professional athletes. They imitate them in various means like playing style, looking, hair style, speaking, body language etc. Moreover, achievement is connected with these individuals' characteristic specialities such as being goal-oriented, being strong-willed, determined and continuously effort on their goals. Because of these features, they could climb the ladder of sucess and be role model for young people. And also they throughout the games and matches they have interviews and talk about their successful lives, in order to implement the tips and advice in their play strategies for their young fans which give guidance in becoming succesful. Additionally, we can see many professional athletes who involve advertisments, movie making and promoting brands in order to make more money, but it might have some adverse impacts on their viewers and young fans. Because meaning of success gradually starts to change in negative way. Actually, back in that time, newspapers, tv channels, radios used to talk about your success way such as gaining these entire specialities and features behaviours and decisions which made you accomplished. But nowadays, because of making money from all promotion advertisements, these professional sportsments turnes into hollywood stars and somehow, they get distraction from their career path. Thereby, many good athletes remain unsuccessful in their career path and switch the another sphere of career. On the contrary, as instance Roger Federer is the famous tennis player in the world and despite his advanced age and his prosperity, he still plays and maintain being role model for young people and encourage them to make career on tennis game. Hence, I truly believe that, successul people should not behave like celebrities for not to give wrong lessons to their fans. They should always boost up their viewers and give noteworthy advice which can help them to lead in their career path. Otherwise distract young people in their career building age can make serious issues for country's and nation's development.
Successful
people
, their lifestyle and their accomplishments always have made
positive
influence on ordinary
people
.

Especially
,
young
people
get
more attraction for sports and try to play same as professional athletes. They imitate them in various means like playing style, looking, hair style, speaking, body language etc.

Moreover
, achievement
is connected
with these individuals' characteristic specialities such as being goal-oriented, being strong-willed, determined and
continuously
effort on their goals.
Because
of these features, they could climb the ladder of sucess and be role model for
young
people
. And
also
they throughout the games and matches they have interviews and talk about their successful
lives
, in order to implement the tips and advice in their play strategies for their
young
fans which give guidance in becoming succesful.

Additionally
, we can
see
many
professional athletes who involve advertisments, movie making and promoting brands in order to
make
more money,
but
it might have
some
adverse impacts on their viewers and
young
fans.
Because
meaning of success
gradually
starts
to
change
in
negative
way. Actually, back in that time, newspapers, tv channels, radios
used
to talk about your success way such as gaining these entire specialities and features behaviours and decisions which made you accomplished.

But
nowadays,
because
of making money from all promotion advertisements, these professional sportsments turnes into hollywood stars and somehow, they
get
distraction from their
career
path.

Thereby,
many
good
athletes remain unsuccessful in their
career
path and switch the another sphere of career.

On the contrary
, as instance Roger Federer is the
famous
tennis player in the world and despite his advanced age and his prosperity, he
still
plays and maintain being role model for
young
people
and encourage them to
make
career
on tennis game.

Hence
, I
truly
believe that, successul
people
should not behave like celebrities for not to give
wrong
lessons to their fans. They should always boost up their viewers and give noteworthy advice which can
help
them to lead in their
career
path.

Otherwise
distract
young
people
in their
career
building age can
make
serious issues for country's and nation's development.
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IELTS essay Some people think that professional athletes make good role models for young people, while others believe they don’t.

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
348 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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