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Some people think that best way to be in shape is joinig gym,while others claim that there are other alternatives.explain both parts and give your own opinion

Some people think that best way to be in shape is joinig gym, while others claim that there are other alternatives. explain both parts and give your own opinion lLOa9
It is often said that the best way to be in fit is joinig a gym, while opponents claim that there are other better ways to be in a shape. Strong arguments exist in support of both sides of this debate, which implies that it is worth examining both points of view before reaching any conclusions. In my opinion fitness is not only the best way to keep fit for several reasons. First of all, it must must be underlined that many people all over the world face the problem of fatness. Many of them think that joinig a gym is the best way to resolve their problems, but they often forget that without a healthy diet it would be very difficult. During the last few years joinig a gym became fashionable, rather than important for our health and beauty. Secondly, we must remember that there are several types of sport and exercises, for example bycicling or walking in the fresh air, and they can easily replace fitness. When the pandemic broke out two years ago most of gyms were closed and people had to seek for other alternative ways. Most of them soon realized that other types of sport are also useful and can help them to be in a good shape. In conclusion, from my point of view doing fitness is important for our health, but together with other possibilities, such as good nutrition and some other types of sport.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
said that the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to be in fit is
Possible spelling mistake found.
joinig
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
, while opponents claim that there are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
to be in a shape. Strong arguments exist in support of both sides of this debate, which implies that it is worth examining both points of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching any conclusions. In my opinion fitness is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
fit for several reasons.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be underlined
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
all over the world face the problem of fatness.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
Possible spelling mistake found.
joinig
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
is the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
way
to resolve their problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
forget that without a healthy diet it would be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult. During the last few years
Possible spelling mistake found.
joinig
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gym
became fashionable,
rather
than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our health and beauty.
Secondly
, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
remember that there are several types of sport and exercises,
for example
Possible spelling mistake found.
bycicling
or walking in the fresh air, and they can
easily
replace fitness. When the pandemic broke out two years ago most of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gyms
were closed
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
had to seek for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
alternative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ways
. Most of them
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
realized that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of sport are
also
useful and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to be in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
shape.
In conclusion
, from my point of view doing fitness is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for our health,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
together with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
possibilities, such as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
nutrition and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
types of sport.
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IELTS essay Some people think that best way to be in shape is joinig gym, while others claim that there are other alternatives. explain both parts and give your own opinion

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
242 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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