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some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school,while others think it is a waste of time .Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school, while others think it is a waste of time. e5JdO
It is often argued that teaching kids art subjects at schools is important, whereas, many believe that it is useless. In my opinion, I believe that although learning art has some benefits, overall the time allocated to arts should be dedicated to more important and practical subjects. It is commonly believed that teaching art at schools have generally positive effects on children development. One key benefit is enhancing creativity by encouraging kids to express themselves on different ways; this can lead to improve their creative thinking skills in the future. Taking sculpture course as an example, in these classes, toodlers use their imagination to create different shapes and forms with several materials such as clay or play dough. Therefore, although it appears that studying arts will not help students to find rewarding jobs once graduated, it is clear that a lot of professions include artistic skills, for example architect and designers need drawing skills. However, some people support the opinion that studying art is pointless and that the time allocated for teaching arts should be dedicated instead to practical subjects, such as maths, life science or foreign languages. Because these subjects provide kids usefull knowledge which can maximise their chances of employment in the future. Furthermore, not all kids are interested in arts, this means that forcing them to take arts courses is a lost cause. For instance, teaching music for a kid who has no interest in music or who has not good musical skills, will not only be a waste of time but also a source of frustration for the infant. In conclusion, while art subjects can benefit children development through instilling creative skills, dedacating time to teach these subjects appears useless since practical subjects are essential for the future. However I would argue that art subjects should be optional in schools and should be taken by only children with artistic interesr and potential skills.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that
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teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
at schools is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
, whereas,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that it is useless. In my opinion, I believe that although learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits,
overall
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
allocated to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should
be dedicated
to more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and practical subjects.

It is
commonly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
at schools have
generally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on children development. One key benefit is enhancing creativity by encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to express themselves on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways; this can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their creative thinking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
in the future. Taking sculpture course as an example, in these classes,
Possible spelling mistake found.
toodlers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their imagination to create
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
shapes and forms with several materials such as clay or play dough.
Therefore
, although it appears that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
students to find rewarding jobs once graduated, it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
professions include artistic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
for example
architect and designers need drawing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
support the opinion that studying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is pointless and that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
allocated for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
should
be dedicated
instead
to practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, such as
Possible spelling mistake. 'maths' is British English.
maths
, life science or foreign languages.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
provide
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
Possible spelling mistake found.
usefull
knowledge which can
Possible spelling mistake. 'maximise' is British English.
maximise
their chances of employment in the future.
Furthermore
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
are interested
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
, this means that forcing them to take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
courses is a lost cause.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
teaching
music for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
who has no interest in music or who has not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
musical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
a source of frustration for the infant.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can benefit children development through instilling creative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
dedacating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to teach these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
appears useless since practical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are essential for the future.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
I would argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
should be optional in schools and should
be taken
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
children with artistic
Possible spelling mistake found.
interesr
and potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
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IELTS essay some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school, while others think it is a waste of time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
317 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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