Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. 2bQAX
In today's society, there is a high demand for students to be academically successful. In the light of the event, some people think that in order for students to be concentrated on academic work, the school needs to remove non-academic subjects, such as physical education and culinary. In my opinion, I disagree with the statement on the extent of creativity and freedom. According to the ministry of education’s report, the freedom of having subjects, academically or non-academically, to choose from is crucial because children at a young age tend to have a higher ability to pick up new information than adults. In my experience of learning languages, when I learn English and Spanish before the age of 17, it appears to be easier for me to be fluent in. In contrast, learning French at the age of 25 appears to be more challenging. Meanwhile, in the extent of creativity, I believe that non-academic subjects have a higher tendency to teach students to think outside of the box. For example, an art subject often teaches its student to use their imagination to create products and have them improvise when a certain procedure is impossible or some materials are hard to find. Therefore, when students learn academic subjects, such as STEM, they will have the ability to get creative when solving problems. In conclusion, although the pressure to be academically successful is high, it is not an excuse for schools to remove non-academic subjects. As not only it limits students' freedom of choice, non-academic subjects are proven to be essential for students' creativity which will directly affect the process of academic works.
In
today
's society, there is a high demand for
students
to be
academically
successful. In the light of the
event
,
some
people
think
that in order for
students
to
be concentrated
on academic work, the school needs to remove non-academic
subjects
, such as physical education and culinary.
In
my opinion, I disagree with the statement on the extent of creativity and freedom.

According to the ministry of education’s report, the freedom of having
subjects
,
academically
or non-
academically
, to choose from is crucial
because
children at a young age tend to have a higher ability to pick up new information than adults. In my experience of learning languages, when I learn English and Spanish
before
the age of 17, it appears to be easier for me to be fluent in.
In contrast
, learning French at the age of 25 appears to be more challenging.

Meanwhile, in the extent of creativity, I believe that non-academic
subjects
have a higher tendency to teach
students
to
think
outside of
the box.
For example
, an art
subject
often
teaches its
student
to
use
their imagination to create products and have them improvise when a certain procedure is impossible or
some
materials are
hard
to find.
Therefore
, when
students
learn academic
subjects
, such as STEM, they will have the ability to
get
creative when solving problems.

In conclusion
, although the pressure to be
academically
successful is high, it is not an excuse for schools to remove non-academic
subjects
. As not
only
it limits students' freedom of choice, non-academic
subjects
are proven
to be essential for students' creativity which will
directly
affect the process of academic works.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts