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Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Educational system in most countries is becoming easier and easier every year. Students may choose limited number of courses and not study maths or science on advanced level; phones are allowed during the lessons; some countries in the world cancelled homework and so on, and so on. . . A lot of people, especially young learners, find this pace of learning comforting. Their reflections are based on phrases like “Why would a scientist need dates of all the Civil Wars in USA? ", or “Why would an artist need to know ways of logarithms solution? “. And I can partly agree with them. It’s quite clear that everyone needs to take basic courses including art, math, science, jurisprudence etc.
Educational system in most countries is becoming easier and easier every year. Students may choose limited number of courses and not study
Possible spelling mistake. ‘maths’ is British English.
maths
or science on advanced level; phones are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
during the lessons;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries in the world cancelled homework and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.
Don’t put a space before the full stop.
.


This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
A lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
,
especially
young learners, find this pace of learning comforting. Their reflections
are based
on phrases like “Why would a scientist need dates of all the Civil Wars
A determiner is probably missing here: “in the USA”.
in USA
?
Use a smart opening quote here.
"
, or “Why would an artist need to know ways of logarithms solution? “. And I can partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with them.

It’s quite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that everyone needs to take basic courses including art, math, science, jurisprudence etc.
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IELTS essay Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
119 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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