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Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There are two main atitudes toward grafting wealth unto cheerfullness. Some people claim that there is a positive correlation between welfare and gladness, while some individuals deny it. I personality believe that money may sometimes make people satisfied, but wellbeing does not rely on being rich. I will support this view with arguments in the following paragraghs. Let us take a look at first point. It is true that following exciting sports and eating enriched food and learning requires money. Also, we know a life without being meet the basic needs is gloomy. All thing, according the first idea, humans can not feel goodness without having enough money. For illustrait, the empact of poverty on individuals depression was seen in Africa, in which people die and suffer. The revers of what were said, l do not think that such reasons are sufficient for reasonable judgment. A group number of researchers are demonstrated that joyfulness is related to high levels of people self-steem. Which means that, you will be merry, If you be interested in yourself rather than money. Indeed pleasence is a personal choice. Take an some rich people with sever illness as an instance, this issue displays that money can not buy happiness, however he/she could decside to be optemestic. The truth that money boosts the levels of material prosperity, yet it can not purchase healthy, self-respect, wellbeing and in one a word happiness. In short, even though being wealthy is effectve for being pleasent, it seems that happiness has no dependence on prosperity.
There are two main
Possible spelling mistake found.
atitudes
toward grafting wealth unto
Possible spelling mistake found.
cheerfullness
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claim that there is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
correlation between welfare and gladness, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals deny it.
Do not use a noun immediately after the pronoun ‘I’. Use a verb or an adverb, or possibly some other part of speech.
I personality
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
satisfied,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
wellbeing does not rely on being rich. I will support this view with arguments in the following
Possible spelling mistake found.
paragraghs
.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Let
us take a look at
first
point. It is true that following exciting sports and eating enriched food and learning requires
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Also
, we know a life without being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the basic needs is gloomy. All thing, according the
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
, humans can not feel goodness without having
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
illustrait
, the
Possible spelling mistake found.
empact
of poverty on
An apostrophe may be missing.
individuals
depression was
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in Africa, in which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
and suffer.

The revers of what
were said
, l do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that such reasons are sufficient for

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
reasonable
judgment. A group number of researchers
are demonstrated
that joyfulness
is related
to high levels of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-steem
. Which means that, you will be merry, If you
be interested
in yourself
rather
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Indeed
Possible spelling mistake found.
pleasence
is a personal choice. Take
Use “a” instead of ‘an’ if the following word doesn’t start with a vowel sound, e.g. ‘a sentence’, ‘a university’.
an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with sever illness as an instance, this issue displays that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
happiness,
however
he/she could
Possible spelling mistake found.
decside
to be
Possible spelling mistake found.
optemestic
. The truth that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
boosts the levels of material prosperity,
yet
it can not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
healthy, self-respect, wellbeing and in one a word happiness.

In short,
even though
being wealthy is
Possible spelling mistake found.
effectve
for being
Possible spelling mistake found.
pleasent
, it seems that happiness has no dependence on prosperity.
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IELTS essay Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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