Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

There are two main atitudes toward grafting wealth unto cheerfullness. Some people claim that there is a positive correlation between welfare and gladness, while some individuals deny it. I personality believe that money may sometimes make people satisfied, but wellbeing does not rely on being rich. I will support this view with arguments in the following paragraghs. Let us take a look at first point. It is true that following exciting sports and eating enriched food and learning requires money. Also, we know a life without being meet the basic needs is gloomy. All thing, according the first idea, humans can not feel goodness without having enough money. For illustrait, the empact of poverty on individuals depression was seen in Africa, in which people die and suffer. The revers of what were said, l do not think that such reasons are sufficient for reasonable judgment. A group number of researchers are demonstrated that joyfulness is related to high levels of people self-steem. Which means that, you will be merry, If you be interested in yourself rather than money. Indeed pleasence is a personal choice. Take an some rich people with sever illness as an instance, this issue displays that money can not buy happiness, however he/she could decside to be optemestic. The truth that money boosts the levels of material prosperity, yet it can not purchase healthy, self-respect, wellbeing and in one a word happiness. In short, even though being wealthy is effectve for being pleasent, it seems that happiness has no dependence on prosperity.
There are two main
atitudes
toward grafting wealth unto
cheerfullness
.
Some
people
claim that there is a
positive
correlation between welfare and gladness, while
some
individuals deny it.
I personality
believe that
money
may
sometimes
make
people
satisfied,
but
wellbeing does not rely on being rich. I will support this view with arguments in the following
paragraghs
.

Let
us take a look at
first
point. It is true that following exciting sports and eating enriched food and learning requires
money
.
Also
, we know a life without being
meet
the basic needs is gloomy. All thing, according the
first
idea
, humans can not feel goodness without having
enough
money
. For
illustrait
, the
empact
of poverty on
individuals
depression was
seen
in Africa, in which
people
die
and suffer.

The revers of what
were said
, l do not
think
that such reasons are sufficient for

reasonable
judgment. A group number of researchers
are demonstrated
that joyfulness
is related
to high levels of
people
self-steem
. Which means that, you will be merry, If you
be interested
in yourself
rather
than
money
.
Indeed
pleasence
is a personal choice. Take
an
some
rich
people
with sever illness as an instance, this issue displays that
money
can not
buy
happiness,
however
he/she could
decside
to be
optemestic
. The truth that
money
boosts the levels of material prosperity,
yet
it can not
purchase
healthy, self-respect, wellbeing and in one a word happiness.

In short,
even though
being wealthy is
effectve
for being
pleasent
, it seems that happiness has no dependence on prosperity.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people believe that money is the most important factor for achieving happiness. However, others believe that happiness has nothing to do with money. Agree or disagree?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
255 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts