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children should be raised with their friends or by themselves

Raising a kid is a kind of art nowadays. Some families believe in that children will be more developed, If they spend more time with their friends, being a part of particular groups. For all that, some people do not agree with this idea. They firmly believe that children who play or grow up by themselves are better performing for their further lives. Firstly, Children, those being in a part of a particular group may be more social. It is crucial for us to improve our productivity or develop new skills such as cognitive skills has been helping us since when we were a kid. Children learn novel ideas or abilities from their parents and can transfer them to their friends while they are spending time. The secondary altercation is about children who are growing up by themselves. It leads them to help to develop their survival-ability skills. Life is hard and families must prepare their children against it. An individual has to do everything by itself it is not firmly knowledge that we will have friends always. They must know how to endure the obstacles when the time comes to face the reality. When they become an adult, they will go through a lot of things such as loneliness. In my personal point of view, children those raised alone are more success. However, our lives are determinated by our environment, loneliness keeps away our kids to from some bad habits those tend to such as smoking, drugs and alcohol. Families should pander their kids raise them with their loves and should void them to have a bad friends.
Raising a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
is a kind of art nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
families believe in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will be more developed, If they spend more time with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
, being a part of particular groups. For all that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. They
firmly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who play or grow up by themselves are better performing for their
further
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
, those being in a part of a particular group may be more social. It is crucial for us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our productivity or develop new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as cognitive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
has been helping us since when we were a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kid
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
learn novel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
or abilities from their parents and can transfer them to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
while they are spending time.

The secondary altercation is about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are growing up by themselves. It leads them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to develop their survival-ability
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. Life is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and families
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prepare their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
against it. An individual
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
do everything by itself it is not
firmly
knowledge that we will have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
always. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
know how to endure the obstacles when the time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to face the reality. When they become an adult, they will go through
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
things such as loneliness.

In my personal point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
those raised alone are more success.
However
, our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
determinated
by our environment, loneliness
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
away our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
to from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits those tend to such as smoking, drugs and alcohol. Families should pander their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
kids
raise them with their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
and should void them to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
.
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IELTS essay children should be raised with their friends or by themselves

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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