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Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time. RN2xQ
Nowadays Art is Compulsory Subject In Every School While Many People Considered It is Prominent Subject For Children Whereas Some People Believe It is Just Waste OF Time. On The Contrary I believe That is Essential To Children To Learn it Will Develop Their Creativity and Provide One Additional Subject To Show their Talent Alternatively Just Learning Theoretical Subjects. People Are Loosing Interest In Arts Due To modern Technology. It is Essential For Us to Maintain Traditional Art Culture by Providing Education On Art. The More Student Study Art The More Curious They Became Towards art. By Enhancing Student Knowledge Will Help Us To Get New And Art and Represents Our Country In Worldwide. For Instance Japan is Known For its Arts And Every Year Children Make Latest Art For Its Nation. Furthermore, Art Will Develop Creativity And Make Children Mind More Sharp It will Help Them To understand Numerous Subjects In School. On The Other Hand Some People Think it is Waste Of Time However It Is Truth That After Leaving School Art Subject Will Not Help Anymore In There Life. Secondly there Has Been Children life Is More Busier In Other Subject Meanwhile Art will Take Enormous Time To Make. For Instance Children will Probably Take More Than 3 to 4 Days For Making New Art It will affect Academic Performance In other Subject. Art Did Not Come In Any Competitive Exam Hence People Considered It wastage OF time And Efforts In Conclusion art Should Be an Essential Subject Although Children Can Study By There Interest Without any Compulsion I Believe That Children Could decide Weather They Want To Learn Or Not.
Nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is Compulsory
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subject
In Every School While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Considered It is Prominent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subject
For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Believe It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
Waste OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
.
On The Contrary
I believe
That is
Essential To
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
To Learn it Will Develop Their Creativity and Provide One Additional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subject
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Show
their Talent
Alternatively
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Just
Learning Theoretical Subjects.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
Are Loosing Interest In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
Due To modern Technology. It is Essential For Us to Maintain Traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
Culture by Providing Education On
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
. The More Student Study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
The More Curious They Became Towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
. By Enhancing Student Knowledge Will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Help
Us To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Get
New And
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
and Represents Our Country In Worldwide.
For Instance
Japan
is Known
For its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Arts
And Every Year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Make
A determiner is probably missing here: "the Latest".
Latest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
For Its Nation.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
Will Develop Creativity And
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
Mind More Sharp It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Help
Them To understand Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subjects
In School.

On The Other Hand
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Think
it is Waste Of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
However
It Is Truth That After Leaving School
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subject
Will Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Help
Make sure that 'Anymore' is used as an adverb, not as an adjective. Did you mean "any more"?
Anymore
In There Life.
Secondly
there Has Been
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
life Is
Use only "Busier" (without 'More') when you use the comparative.
More Busier
In Other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subject
Meanwhile
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
will Take Enormous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Time
To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Make
.
For Instance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
will
Probably
Take More Than 3 to 4 Days For Making New
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
It will affect Academic Performance In other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subject
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
Did Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Come
In Any Competitive Exam
Hence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
Considered It wastage OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
And Efforts

In Conclusion
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
Should Be an Essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Subject
Although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
Can Study By There Interest Without any Compulsion I Believe That
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
Could decide Weather They Want To Learn Or Not.
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IELTS essay Some people think that art is an essential subject for children at school while others think it is a waste of time.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
274 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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