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Some people think that animals should be treated as friends. Yet others only consider animals as sources of food and clothing. What’s your opinion?

Some people think that animals should be treated as friends. Yet others only consider animals as sources of food and clothing. What’s your opinion? 2xRBb
People hold divergent views whether human being should companion with animals. While others regard animals as living meat or walking fur, I advocate that animals should be treated as friends. The first reason why it is significant to behave kindly towards animals is that they play an indispensable role in maintaining biodiversity. Because humans and animals are interdependent, lacking of living creatures will have grave impacts on the whole world. For example, when whales come to the surface to breathe, they vomit wastes that make fertile oceans and the diverse food chain. The second cause is that animals such as pets can make tremendous contribution to the process of forming children’s personality traits. Rearing domestic animals helps children stand a better chance of acquiring high responsibility and self-confidence. To illustrate, it is taking dogs for a walk or tidying up their cages that equips kids with an intensive sense of accomplishment and pride. Last but not least, keeping animals company is a splendid therapy for enhancing human health. Not only are dogs proven to relieve stress but also lessen risk of depression. For example, some research indicates that having exposure to pets a matter of mininutes per day helps brains to release more dopamine - an ecstatic horomone than normal people. To summary, I ally myself with the claim that animals are human being’s friends. Being kind to animals is also for the sake of human. Therefore, it is neccessary to live in harmony with animals and treat them with love and care.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
hold divergent views whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being should companion with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
. While others regard
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
as living meat or walking fur, I advocate that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
should
be treated
as friends.

The
first
reason why it is significant to behave kindly towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is that they play an indispensable role in maintaining biodiversity.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
humans
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are interdependent, lacking of living creatures will have grave impacts
on the whole
world.
For example
, when whales
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to the surface to breathe, they vomit wastes that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
fertile oceans and the diverse food chain.

The second cause is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
such as pets can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
tremendous contribution to the process of forming children’s personality traits. Rearing domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
children stand a better chance of acquiring high responsibility and self-confidence. To illustrate, it is taking dogs for a walk or tidying up their cages that equips kids with an intensive sense of accomplishment and pride.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is a splendid therapy for enhancing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
health. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are dogs proven to relieve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
lessen
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risk
of depression.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
research indicates that having exposure to pets a matter of
Possible spelling mistake found.
mininutes
per day
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
brains to release more dopamine
Consider using an m-dash if you do not want to join two words.
-
an ecstatic
Possible spelling mistake found.
horomone
than normal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

To summary, I ally myself with the claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
being’s friends. Being kind to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
is
also
for the sake of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
human
.
Therefore
, it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
neccessary
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in harmony with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
animals
and treat them with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and care.
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IELTS essay Some people think that animals should be treated as friends. Yet others only consider animals as sources of food and clothing. What’s your opinion?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
253 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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