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Some people think that all university students study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give yo v.1

Some people think that all university students study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in future, such as those related to science and technology. 1
People have different views about study courses, whether university adults go for courses of personal interest or they should opt for science and technology field. While personal preference is good, I believe traditional subjects like science, Information technology are more beneficial for trainees. On the one hand, going for own interest is better because a learner can learn better, as one’s interest in subjects can help to concentrate better, which results in good results. Also, if students will go for other courses than technology then balance is maintained between society, as society can not handle all engineers and scientists. There should be also some artist, who can fill colour in lives. Furthermore, a healthy future will be developed when school folks will not be under pressure of superiors and they can create better decisions for career. On the other side, choosing technical subjects are also helpful for future. I believe that college trainees can go for technical subjects and not personal choice courses. As technology is changing at very high pace. So, more experts are needed who can handle upgrading technology. Thus, students who are already expert in science field will get advantage to get jobs. Moreover, fixed subjects in colleges are helpful to study only given syllabus and thus can concentrate better on specific areas. In conclusion, I believe why might people think want to have courses of personal choice but it seems to me that there is good career if trainees will go for scientific and technical subjects.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views about study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
, whether university adults go for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
interest or
they should opt for science and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
field. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
preference is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
, I believe traditional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
like science, Information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
are more beneficial for trainees.

On the one hand, going for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
interest is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a learner can learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
, as one’s
Did you mean "interested"?
interest
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to concentrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
, which results in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
results.
Also
, if students will go for other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
then balance
is maintained
between society, as society can not handle all engineers and scientists. There should be
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
artist, who can fill
Possible spelling mistake. 'colour' is British English.
colour
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.
Furthermore
, a healthy future will
be developed
when school folks will not be under pressure of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
superiors and
they can create
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
decisions for career.

On the other side, choosing technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are
also
helpful for future. I believe that college trainees can go for technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
choice
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is changing at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high pace.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, more experts
are needed
who can handle upgrading
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
Thus
, students who are already expert in science field will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advantage to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in colleges are helpful to study
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
syllabus and
thus
can concentrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
on specific areas.

In conclusion
, I believe why might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
want to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it seems to me that there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
career if trainees will go for scientific and technical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all university students study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in future, such as those related to science and technology. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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