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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 112 v. 67

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 112 v. 67 nrBe
Nowadays, there is an increasing number of subjects being introduced in universities throughout the world, in particular related to science and technology. While some people argue that students should make their own choice of subject, others consider that they should only choose subjects that will be helpful in the future. There are valid views on both sides, which I will discuss now. On the one hand, it is true that science and technology is a field that is very promising. The number of discoveries and inventions do not cease to surprise the population and this area will keep on expanding given the actual trend. For instance, researchers have revealed the most extensive genetic of cancers, which could help understand the origin of cancers. With even more students doing science and technology and working on such studies, they might eventually be able to solve many problems in the world. Moreover, a career in science and technology will be worthy for, businesses and organisations involved are always multiplying, with various job positions at different levels. On the other hand, not all students perform well in science and technology related subjects in secondary schools and hence, they should not be forced to pursue such studies at university level as this might lead to poor academic results. Indeed, some students are better at doing art studies or languages and would most probably choose to do programmes such as graphic designer or French respectively. Furthermore, if they are not allowed to choose their own career path, they might become depressed in the future since they do not feel satisfied with their life. This is depicted by a study carried out in India among students where nearly half of the population studied were forced to do a subject they did not want to and the majority of them were not happy in their life. In conclusion, I firmly believe that all university students should be given the freedom to choose the subject they want to study, provided that they receive appropriate guidance from their parents and superiors. They should be allowed to pursue the career they want, so that they do not become depressed later.
Nowadays, there is an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
being introduced
in universities throughout the world,
in particular
related to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
choice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
, others consider that they should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that will be helpful in the future. There are valid views on both sides, which I will discuss
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.

On the one hand, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is a field
that is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
promising. The number of discoveries and inventions do not cease to surprise the population and this area will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
on expanding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the actual trend.
For instance
, researchers have revealed the most extensive genetic of cancers, which could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
understand the origin of cancers. With even more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
and working on such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
, they might
eventually
be able to solve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems in the world.
Moreover
, a career in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
will be worthy for, businesses and
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
involved are always multiplying, with various job positions at
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
levels.

On the other hand
, not all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
perform well in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
science
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in secondary schools and
hence
, they should not
be forced
to pursue such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
at university level as this might lead to poor academic results.
Indeed
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are better at doing art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
or languages and would most
probably
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
to do
Possible spelling mistake. 'programmes' is British English.
programmes
such as graphic designer or French
respectively
.
Furthermore
, if they are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
career path, they might become depressed in the future since they do not feel satisfied with their life. This
is depicted
by a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
carried out in India among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
where
nearly
half of the population studied
were forced
to do a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
they did not want to and the majority of them were not happy in their life.

In conclusion
, I
firmly
believe that all university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the freedom to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
they want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, provided that they receive appropriate guidance from their parents and superiors. They should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to pursue the career they want,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not become depressed later.
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IELTS essay Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 112 v. 67

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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