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Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development? K1mN
In the contemporary era, shopping is considered to be the most preferred activity particularly among the youngsters. Now, whether this is a positive or negative development is a matter of debate. Hence, it certainly is beneficial for the world of businesses as far as I am concerned. I will examine some reasons with relevant examples and support my stance in the ensuing paragraphs. There are a plethora of reasons, why shopping is the most popular activity among young ones. The first and foremost one is, big brands introduce the latest designs in clothes and electronic gadgets frequently. Not only that but online portals provide discounts and free delivery options also. As a result, most of the consumers are attracted towards shopping in their spare time. Moreover, shopping requires very less cost compare to others leisure activities such as travelling and photography. Another important reason is, compare to the past, now individuals are more stable financially, so the demand of shopping in their free time has been increasing remarkably since past few years. There are some genuine reasons why I think this is a positive phonemenon in our society. Firstly, when young ones shop, then some amount of money directly goes to the government in the form of taxes. In results, the country's economy boosts markedly. Secondly, if adults perform shopping more, then companies would strengthen their bottom line and would be able to provide better services and products to their Petronas. For instance, because of greater sales figures, companies like Apple and Adidas can give their services ubiquitously. To conclude, I would like to say that shopping as a leisure activity is a positive development for the growth of the country. Furthermore, its is one of the best activity to refresh our mind for our stressful life.
In the contemporary era,
shopping
is considered
to be the most preferred
activity
particularly
among the youngsters.
Now
, whether this is a
positive
or
negative
development is a matter of debate.
Hence
, it
certainly
is beneficial for the world of businesses as far as I
am concerned
. I will examine
some
reasons
with relevant examples and support my stance in the ensuing paragraphs. There are a plethora of
reasons
, why
shopping
is the most popular
activity
among young
ones
. The
first
and foremost one is,
big
brands introduce the latest designs in clothes and electronic gadgets
frequently
. Not
only
that
but
online portals provide discounts and free delivery options
also
.
As a result
, most of the consumers
are attracted
towards
shopping
in their spare time.
Moreover
,
shopping
requires
very
less cost compare to others leisure
activities
such as travelling and photography. Another
important
reason
is, compare to the past,
now
individuals are more stable
financially
,
so
the demand of
shopping
in their free time has been increasing
remarkably
since past few years. There are
some
genuine
reasons
why I
think
this is a
positive
phonemenon
in our society.
Firstly
, when young
ones
shop, then
some
amount of money
directly
goes to the
government
in the form of taxes. In results, the country's economy boosts
markedly
.
Secondly
, if adults perform
shopping
more, then
companies
would strengthen their bottom line and would be able to provide better services and products to their
Petronas
.
For instance
,
because
of greater sales figures,
companies
like Apple and Adidas can give their services
ubiquitously
.
To conclude
, I would like to say that
shopping
as a leisure
activity
is a
positive
development for the growth of the country.
Furthermore
, its is one of the best
activity
to refresh our mind for our stressful life.
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IELTS essay Shopping is now one of the most popular forms of leisure activity in many countries for young adults. Why is this? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
297 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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