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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology v.9

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology v. 9
According to some people it is mandatory for students studying which they prefer, while others believe that students had better to course other fields' subjects which is important for their future life. I would rather that it is better to inquire whatever they want. People's belief of studying mere subjects which are better for students' future may be reasonable. For instance, studying technology and to explore new thing in order to facilitate human beings' works or studying medicine in order to save a human's life and help them. In addition, as such kind of fields' income is advanced, people prefer this option. I think that it is the most appealing side of it which many of people have a common belief. Nevertheless studying the subject (profession) which learners want is more advantageous than the opposite. The reason of it is being of the students' enthusiasm. When they are enthusiastic they can concentrate on their studies easily, even the lecture is hard. One more benefit of this option is that learners will not feel like under the pressure as it exists in the other choice. It is sensible when students are really into learning whatever they want. Actually, it depends on learners' comprehension skills that they should exercise mathematical work or literary work. As everyone knows, all students have different capabilities and various thoughts, it is more efficient to give them more opportunities in order to choose the fields themselves which they prefer, not parents or another one. In this way they not only will learn whatever they like, but also they will understand all details perfectly and quickly. Furthermore, results of this option could be much more better rather than the opposite one, according to these reasons. In conclusion, I believe that gaining knowledge of the students that they want which field is better is much more effective than the other one.
According to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
it is mandatory for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
which they prefer, while others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to course
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
fields' subjects which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for their future life. I would
rather
that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
to inquire whatever they want.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
's belief of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
mere subjects which are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
for students' future may be reasonable.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
technology and to explore new thing in order to facilitate human beings' works or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
medicine in order to save a human's life and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them.
In addition
, as such kind of fields' income
is advanced
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer this option. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that it is the most appealing side of it which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have a common belief.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Nevertheless
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studying
the subject (profession) which learners want is more advantageous than the opposite. The reason of it is being of the students' enthusiasm. When they are enthusiastic they can concentrate on their studies
easily
, even the lecture is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
. One more benefit of this option is that learners will not feel like under the pressure as it exists in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
choice. It is sensible when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are
really
into learning whatever they want. Actually, it depends on learners' comprehension
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that they should exercise mathematical work or literary work. As everyone knows, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
capabilities and various thoughts, it is more efficient to give them more opportunities in order to choose the fields themselves which they prefer, not parents or another one. In this way they not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
will learn whatever they like,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they will understand all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
perfectly
and
quickly
.
Furthermore
, results of this option could be much more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
rather
than the opposite one, according to these reasons.

In conclusion
, I believe that gaining knowledge of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that they want which field is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
better
is much more effective than the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
one.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology v. 9

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
312 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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