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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v.69

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 69
University students are going to lead different important sectors in few years and hence their education is one of the most important aspects of a country. It is often debated how much freedom they should be given while choosing the subjects and I personally believe that they should have the freedom to pick subjects within a prescribed syllabus, not whatever they like. To begin with, the freedom of selecting subjects in university level would make the education more effective and would not force students study subjects that they have no interest at all. Though technology related subjects are quite important, students would not learn that much if he is forced to learn programming while his interest is in literature. Thus a student should be given the freedom to pick the subjects he likes, especially for the university students. For instance, many arts faculties in western universities offer students to pick technology related subjects while the reverse is also true. However, an absolute freedom to pick subjects for the university students is not a good idea as well. This will often lead to situations when students will not have sufficient knowledge on some aspects that are crucial for the career. Some students would misuse this facility and pick the same subjects in different semesters. It will also lead to a haphazard situation as most of the students would like to study the same subjects and the university authority would not be able to offer these courses to all. To conclude, a certain freedom while picking subjects in university level is very helpful for the overall development and knowledge enhancement of students. However, an absolute freedom would make the outcome worse.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
University
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are going to lead
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
sectors in few years and
hence
their education is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects of a country. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
debated how much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
they should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
while choosing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and I
personally
believe that they should have the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
within a prescribed syllabus, not whatever they like.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
of selecting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
level would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the education more effective and would not force
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that they have no interest at all. Though technology related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
are quite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would not learn that much if he
is forced
to learn programming while his interest is in literature.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Thus
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pick
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
he likes,
especially
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
arts faculties in western
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
offer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pick
technology related
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
while the reverse is
also
true.

However
, an absolute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pick
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
as well
. This will
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
lead to situations when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will not have sufficient knowledge on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
aspects that are crucial for the career.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would misuse this facility and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pick
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
semesters. It will
also
lead to a haphazard situation as most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
would like to study the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
authority would not be able to offer these courses to all.

To conclude
, a certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
while picking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
level is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
helpful for the
overall
development and knowledge enhancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
However
, an absolute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the outcome worse.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 69

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
279 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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