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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. v. 101 v.56

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 101 v. 56
Many people deem that students should be given a privilege to study whatever they like. While, others consider that they should permit to study career oriented major subjects namely science and technology. I partly agree with the statement because both of the views have some pros and cons. Undoubtedly, to provide a freedom to pupils in order to elect their studies is a quite effective approach that will not only produce a positive effect in a society, but also brings a diversity in the world. For that degree of policies, allow learners to choose their syllabus in accordance with their attitude, rather than force to learn those, which one does not want to study. For example, some arts faculties in western universities permit arts pupils to adopt a technology, while the reverse is also true. Furthermore, every person is unique and have excellent skills in different domains. So, freedom is mandatory to grasp the real abilities of the young people. Nevertheless, many humans focus on the latest knowledge of science and automation just because of their increasing demand. Nowadays, progress of any country depends on their scientists and technologists. Moreover, these departments also play an indispensable role in pharmaceutical industries. To take an interest in those literatures raises the chances to obtain a job in this challenging universe. For instance, according to a recent research, owners of several multinational companies have given a favour to a technical person who knows a theory behind several phenomena, rather than an artist. To conclude, both sides have its own benefits and drawbacks. But, I personally believe that for a better community, university policies should design in such that they meets both of these criteria. Likewise; if everyone receives an employment oriented education, then who become the leader of the country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
deem that students should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a privilege to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
whatever they like. While, others consider that they should permit to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
career oriented major subjects
namely
science and technology. I partly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
both of the views have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
pros and cons.

Undoubtedly
, to provide
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "freedom".
a freedom
to pupils in order to elect their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
studies
is a quite effective approach that will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
produce a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect in a society,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
brings a diversity in the world. For that degree of policies,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
learners to choose their syllabus in accordance with their attitude,
rather
than force to learn those, which one does not want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arts faculties in western universities permit arts pupils to adopt a technology, while the reverse is
also
true.
Furthermore
, every person is unique and have excellent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
domains.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, freedom is mandatory to grasp the real abilities of the young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

Nevertheless
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
humans focus on the latest knowledge of science and automation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of their increasing demand. Nowadays, progress of any country depends on their scientists and technologists.
Moreover
, these departments
also
play an indispensable role in pharmaceutical industries. To take an interest in those literatures raises the chances to obtain a job in this challenging universe.
For instance
, according to a recent research, owners of several multinational
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
a
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
to a technical person who knows a theory behind several phenomena,
rather
than an artist.

To conclude
, both sides have its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits and drawbacks.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, I
personally
believe that for a better community, university policies should design in such that they
The pronoun 'they' must be used with a non-third-person form of a verb: "meet"
meets
both of these criteria.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Likewise
; if everyone receives an employment oriented education, then who become the leader of the country.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 101 v. 56

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
297 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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