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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.55

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 55
Students who graduated from high school, they have to decide which university will they enrol. Some people believe that while they choose profession, they should take into account their interests. On the other hand, some people ponder that students should prefer job which are related to science and technology. I will intend to dwell on discuss both ideas in the following paragraphs. First of all, one of the most vital criteria is that interests of students when choose a department to study because of some reasons. Every student has different kind of talent, ability and interests that is why we cannot expect that they study the same subject. For example, my cousin wanted to study physics since beginning of the high school because he is enjoyed while learning physics and math, but his parents did not support him because people who studied physic, they cannot find a job in our country. In despite of lack of vacancy in physics area, my cousin had enrolled this department and graduated successfully. Now he is working on one of the well-known companies in Europe. On the other hand, some people believe that no matter what students want to be they must choose useful job. In other words, crucial thing here is finding a good job in popular areas such as science and technology. For instance, my college friend wanted to be a musician, but she preferred to study computer engineering in order to find a good job as soon as possible when she graduated from university. But she did not complete her education on time due to shortage of understanding ability. To sum up, there are some criteria to choose profession one of them is interests other on is a usefulness of job. From my perspective of view, students should choose a job which is enjoyed while they are working. Only the case people love their job they can become master on it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Students
who graduated from high school, they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
decide which university will they enrol.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that while they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
profession, they should take into account their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
. On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
ponder that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which
are related
to science and technology. I will intend to dwell on discuss both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
in the following paragraphs.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, one of the most vital criteria is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
a department to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons. Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of talent, ability and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
that is
why we cannot
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
expect
that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
the same subject.
For example
, my cousin wanted to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
physics since beginning of the high school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he
is enjoyed
while learning physics and math,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
his parents did not support him
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who studied physic, they cannot find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in our country. In despite of lack of vacancy in physics area, my cousin had enrolled this department and graduated
successfully
.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
he is working on one of the well-known
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
in Europe.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that no matter what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
want to be they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, crucial thing here is finding a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in popular areas such as science and technology.
For instance
, my college friend wanted to be a musician,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
she preferred to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
computer engineering in order to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible when she graduated from university.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
she did not complete her education on time due to shortage of understanding ability.

To sum up, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
criteria to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
profession one of them is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interests
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
on is a usefulness of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. From my perspective of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
which
is enjoyed
while they are working.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Only
the case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
they can become master on it.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 55

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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