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Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. v.32

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 32
These days all people believe that higher education is a priority to everyone want to find a suitable business and have a happy life, family, house and other things that is needed in our daily life, all of that depend on how much money you get in your task which had been determined by your education level. From this point, people started to think carefully about choosing their courses in the university, which led people to separate into two groups. One the one hand, many people rely on their ambitions to choose their courses in university and study whatever they like even if their way has a closed end without effort. Their desire to this choice coming from logical reasons. Firstly, students choose the courses that they loved in school and found it very interesting to them and they did well in it. Another important reason is the environment where they grew up. The environment plays the most important part in student’s mental development so students choose their courses depending on their hope to have respect in their community which gives specific careers high level of respect and ignores what else. One the other hand, a piece of people think in a practical way before choosing their courses in university and focus on subjects that will lead them to a better business when they graduate specially science and technology subjects. They justify their desire by giving some good reasons. Such as, they believe that the main purpose of studying is to get a good job and earn money so they choose the courses which make sure they will get that. Another reason is currently developing, science and technology subjects break new ground in global development and offering many job opportunities around the world because of that everyone must invest his skills in these sections and don’t study any subject else. In conclusion, each group of people has justified their views with good reasons. Group one believes that following your ambition and trying to earn respect in your community is what you need to be more creative, where group two believe that job opportunities, better business with so much money is what you have to focus on. In my opinion you should follow your ambition, but don’t let him lead you to closed end without career, you have to study what subjects that you love and provide a good trial when you graduate at both.
These days all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that higher education is a priority to everyone
The pronoun 'everyone' is usually used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "wants", "wanted".
want
to find a suitable business and have a happy life, family,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and other things that
is needed
in our daily life, all of that depend on how much money you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
in your task which had
been determined
by your education level. From this point,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
carefully
about choosing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in the university, which led
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to separate into two groups.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely on their ambitions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in university and study whatever they like even if their way has a closed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
without effort. Their desire to this choice coming from logical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
.
Firstly
, students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
in school and found it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
interesting to
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they did well in it. Another
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is the environment where they grew up. The environment plays the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part in student’s mental development
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
depending on their hope to have respect in their community which gives specific careers high level of respect and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignores
what else.

Did you mean "on"?
One
the other hand, a piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
Consider replacing "in a practical way" with the adverb for "practical"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a practical way
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
choosing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
in university and focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that will lead them to a better business when they graduate
specially
science and technology subjects.

They justify their desire by giving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. Such as, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that the main purpose of studying is to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
job and earn money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
courses
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that.

Another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
is
currently
developing, science and technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
break new ground in global development and offering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
job opportunities around the world
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of that everyone
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
invest his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in these sections and don’t study any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
else.

In conclusion
, each group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
has justified their views with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
. Group one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believes
that following your ambition and trying to earn respect in your community is what you need to be more creative, where group two
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
believe
that job opportunities, better business with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much money is what you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
focus on. In my opinion you should follow your ambition,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
don’t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
him lead you to closed
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
without career, you
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
study what
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
that you
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and provide a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
trial when you graduate at both.
4Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. v. 32

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
404 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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